IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that individuals have no power to improve the environment, and only governments and large companies can make a real difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In today’s society, many people believe that
individuals
Use synonyms
 have no power to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
, and only authorities and big
companies
Use synonyms
 can solve those problems.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
While
Linking Words
 government and large
companies
Use synonyms
 play significant roles,
individuals
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 make a profound
impact
Use synonyms
 on improving the
environment
Use synonyms
 step by step. First and foremost,
individuals
Use synonyms
 have a significant
impact
Use synonyms
 on the
environment
Use synonyms
. Human activities,
such
Linking Words
 as carbon emissions from
individuals
Use synonyms
’ cars, can increase a large proportion of air pollution.
Although
Linking Words
 large
companies
Use synonyms
 do play a role, the actions of
individuals
Use synonyms
 are equally important.
For instance
Linking Words
, the increase in private car ownership has been a major contributor to air pollution, which leads to the depletion of the ozone layer. If
individuals
Use synonyms
 raise more awareness in simple actions,
such
Linking Words
 as using public transport, cycling, and walking, it could significantly reduce carbon emissions. Another important issue is the overuse of plastic bags by
individuals
Use synonyms
, which not only harms the
environment
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 poses a serious threat to wildlife. Simple measures,
such
Linking Words
 as reusing bags or recycling single-use plastics, may appear insignificant when taken alone.
However
Linking Words
, when adopted by millions of people, these practices generate a substantial collective
impact
Use synonyms
. In fact, many community campaigns have demonstrated how small actions by
individuals
Use synonyms
 can inspire widespread change. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the government and larger
companies
Use synonyms
 have a crucial
impact
Use synonyms
 on the
environment
Use synonyms
, the collective efforts of
individuals
Use synonyms
 are equally important. By taking small but consistent steps,
individuals
Use synonyms
 can help reduce carbon emissions and air pollution and create a healthier planet for the next generation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay shows a clear view that individuals can help, not only big groups. To raise the score, add more strong reasons and more facts or examples to back each idea.
coherence
Link ideas more clearly. Use easy chain words like first, next, because, so to guide the reader and show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence
Some sentences are long and hard. Shorten them and use simple form. Check grammar and fix small errors.
task response
Be careful with facts. If you say something about the ozone layer, check it or keep to safe, true facts.
strength
The writer shows a clear view that individuals can help the environment.
strength
Good layout with an intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Examples like travel choices and plastic use are used to explain points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: