Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweight its disadvantages?
Firstly
, I do agree that the advantages of patriotism
outweigh its disadvantages and I will gladly provide reasons, such
as how it is beneficial for our society
we do need all the love and support in our lives and I do find it very upsetting that some people do not see how patriotism
is a great and beneficial thing to have as a society
. Secondly
, we live in a world where patriotism
is almost fading away because we forgot
how much Wrong verb form
have forgotten
impact
it holds in
us as a Change preposition
on
society
not that only but also
there are people who think that patriotism
causes problems and is negative overall
. To those I would like to ask why they think in that way , and what made them assume that patriotism
causes problems and harm to society
. Hence
, what they think, say and answer I stand with my thoughts because I have reasons to believe the advantages of patriotism
I saw the advantages in our loving society
I saw how close , honest and strong we are. Finally
, I do wish that you saw what impact
patriotism
holds either negative or positive. Lastly
, even if it holds a negative impact
as a strong society
we can turn it into a positive impact
and not let anything negative affect us or come our way, we can get through it so easily as a loving society
filled with only positive patriotism
, not any negative feelings or negative thoughts we should not allow any kind of negativity flow around us.Submitted by alaanoudaltammaami on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but it lacks clear examples and detailed arguments that support your stance. Provide specific examples and elaborate on them to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clear structure - introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and provide evidence to support that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Work on separating your ideas into distinct paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily and make your essay more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Add a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. Include a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and reinforces your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly. This will help improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
You express a strong personal conviction in your essay, which is important.
task achievement
You attempt to address both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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