Large companies often use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this hurts sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #events #products #people

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It is true that

athletes

take part in commercials in order to advertise large

companies

' products.

Although

sportsmen's cooperation in advertising is accepted by some individuals, it has its own opponents. I strongly agree with it and

also

I believe that not only can it financially benefit

sports

Correct article usage

the sports

show examples

sector, but

also

it can bring more popularity and fame to

athletes

. First of all, advertising for large

companies

provides considerable funds for

sports

Correct article usage

the sports

show examples

population. It is evident that successful

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

teams mostly need sponsors to afford their expenses, from various game entrances to clothing and special diets.

For

this

reason, having an affluent sponsor by their side can guarantee a better performance in

sports

events. In

this

case, if

athletes

agree to participate in commercials,

companies

will pay for their expenses and that would be a win-win for both sides. Another indication is that by advertising well-known

companies

' products,

athletes

can be seen more in public. There are many

sports

that regardless of their several achievements, are neglected in the public eye and they are not getting enough credits as they deserve.

Thus

, by taking part in

such

activities, they would get a chance to shine and

appreciated

Add a missing verb

be appreciated

show examples

by society.

For instance

, in Iran, people were not informed about women's Whusu , which has won many medals over the years, until one of the

athletes

,Shahrbano Mansorian, advertised for one of the food

companies

and out of a sudden they became famous. These days, many people know her and follow their victories. In conclusion, the cooperation of

companies

and sport can be rewarding for both. Large

companies

can be decent sponsors for

sports

teams and assist them with expenses

as well as

giving them an opportunity to be seen by people.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Aug 04 2024

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task achievement

While the essay is well-structured, ensure you explicitly address the opposing viewpoint on how commercialization might harm sports. This can provide a more balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences need minor adjustment for clarity. For example, 'sports population' could be better expressed as 'sports community' or 'athletes'.

task achievement

The essay is very clear and concise, and it provides strong and relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both well-written and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Large companies often use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this hurts sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It has become very common for people to borrow money. Maby people have credit card, a mortgage and often they buy a car on credit card as well. Is this a good idea or this is too risky? Discuss both views abd give your own opinion.

Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level and at an individual level?