Large companies often use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this hurts sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that
athletes
take part in commercials in order to advertise large companies
' products. Although
sportsmen's cooperation in advertising is accepted by some individuals, it has its own opponents. I strongly agree with it and also
I believe that not only can it financially benefit sports
sector, but Correct article usage
the sports
also
it can bring more popularity and fame to athletes
.
First of all, advertising for large companies
provides considerable funds for sports
population. It is evident that successful Correct article usage
the sports
sport
teams mostly need sponsors to afford their expenses, from various game entrances to clothing and special diets. Change the noun form
sports
For
this
reason, having an affluent sponsor by their side can guarantee a better performance in sports
events. In this
case, if athletes
agree to participate in commercials, companies
will pay for their expenses and that would be a win-win for both sides.
Another indication is that by advertising well-known companies
' products, athletes
can be seen more in public. There are many sports
that regardless of their several achievements, are neglected in the public eye and they are not getting enough credits as they deserve. Thus
, by taking part in such
activities, they would get a chance to shine and appreciated
by society. Add a missing verb
be appreciated
For instance
, in Iran, people were not informed about women's Whusu , which has won many medals over the years, until one of the athletes
,Shahrbano Mansorian, advertised for one of the food companies
and out of a sudden they became famous. These days, many people know her and follow their victories.
In conclusion, the cooperation of companies
and sport can be rewarding for both. Large companies
can be decent sponsors for sports
teams and assist them with expenses as well as
giving them an opportunity to be seen by people.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
While the essay is well-structured, ensure you explicitly address the opposing viewpoint on how commercialization might harm sports. This can provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences need minor adjustment for clarity. For example, 'sports population' could be better expressed as 'sports community' or 'athletes'.
task achievement
The essay is very clear and concise, and it provides strong and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-written and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
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