Large companies often use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this hurts sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that
athletes
take part in commercials in order to advertise large Use synonyms
companies
' products. Use synonyms
Although
sportsmen's cooperation in advertising is accepted by some individuals, it has its own opponents. I strongly agree with it and Linking Words
also
I believe that not only can it financially benefit Linking Words
Use synonyms
sports
sector, but Correct article usage
the sports
also
it can bring more popularity and fame to Linking Words
athletes
.
First of all, advertising for large Use synonyms
companies
provides considerable funds for Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sports
population. It is evident that successful Correct article usage
the sports
sport
teams mostly need sponsors to afford their expenses, from various game entrances to clothing and special diets. Change the noun form
sports
For
Linking Words
this
reason, having an affluent sponsor by their side can guarantee a better performance in Linking Words
sports
events. In Use synonyms
this
case, if Linking Words
athletes
agree to participate in commercials, Use synonyms
companies
will pay for their expenses and that would be a win-win for both sides.
Another indication is that by advertising well-known Use synonyms
companies
' products, Use synonyms
athletes
can be seen more in public. There are many Use synonyms
sports
that regardless of their several achievements, are neglected in the public eye and they are not getting enough credits as they deserve. Use synonyms
Thus
, by taking part in Linking Words
such
activities, they would get a chance to shine and Linking Words
appreciated
by society. Add a missing verb
be appreciated
For instance
, in Iran, people were not informed about women's Whusu , which has won many medals over the years, until one of the Linking Words
athletes
,Shahrbano Mansorian, advertised for one of the food Use synonyms
companies
and out of a sudden they became famous. These days, many people know her and follow their victories.
In conclusion, the cooperation of Use synonyms
companies
and sport can be rewarding for both. Large Use synonyms
companies
can be decent sponsors for Use synonyms
sports
teams and assist them with expenses Use synonyms
as well as
giving them an opportunity to be seen by people.Linking Words
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task achievement
While the essay is well-structured, ensure you explicitly address the opposing viewpoint on how commercialization might harm sports. This can provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences need minor adjustment for clarity. For example, 'sports population' could be better expressed as 'sports community' or 'athletes'.
task achievement
The essay is very clear and concise, and it provides strong and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-written and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.