Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that
food
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and drink
companies
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produce their
products
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with high levels of sugar, which may impact human health. Some
people
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suggest increasing the prices of sugary
products
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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would avoid high-sugar
food
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and drinks.
This
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essay disagrees with the statement because raising customer awareness is more crucial than increasing prices and
companies
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should put more effort into producing alternative
products
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. Educating
people
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about the choices of
food
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and drinks they eat can be useful.
People
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often buy high levels of sugar without noticing that
due to
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a lack of awareness and poor knowledge about the risks of these
products
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in the long term in the human body.
For example
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, governments should send dietitians to educate customers about nutrition and which
food
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and drinks are healthier for their body
also
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by comparing the nutrition facts of
products
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with other better choices. Governments around the world can encourage
food
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companies
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to focus more on producing low-sugar
products
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and enrich them with vitamins and minerals so they can be suitable and healthier for human consumption. If
companies
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started to produce alternative
products
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with affordable prices more
people
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would begin a healthy lifestyle.
For instance
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,
food
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industries can replace sugars in their
products
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and start to use sweeteners
this
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will benefit customers' health and industries' income. In conclusion, by government supports local
food
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companies
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to put alternative choices in markets and educate
people
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about the risk of high levels of sugar.
This
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can be effective in less consumption of these
products
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which can harm humankind.
Submitted by m.ixi6006 on

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task response
While your essay supports your position with several arguments, explicitly stating whether you 'agree' or 'disagree' at the beginning can create a stronger impact. Consider weaving in your stance more firmly throughout your discussion to bring more emphasis to your argumentative position.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows quite well overall, but using more linking phrases and transitional words can enhance the coherence between sentences and paragraphs. This would further guide the reader through your thinking process.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion both clearly illustrate your position and summarize your main points, demonstrating good writing structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses multiple angles of the topic by suggesting education and alternative product development as solutions, which enriches your response.
task achievement
Relevant examples such as sending dietitians and producing low-sugar products support your claims effectively, which helps convince the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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