Nowadays, many people send their children to boarding schools so that they can have time to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
essay, we argue about the advantages or disadvantages of the problem that sending kids
to boarding schools to get more time to work further
I give my personal ideas.
To begin
with, in the modern world, people have to struggle more than in old times due to
new job types and methods. Moreover
, modern
world is bringing us new circumstances that we should adaptAdd an article
the modern
.
Change preposition
to.
For
this
reason, workers have to create spaces in their lives to labor
more and more. In order to create spaces, some parents want to take precautions for their children Change the spelling
labour
such
as sending them to institutes or finding babysitters.
On the one hand, boarding schools are effective in the improvement of the children. Further
, those institutes can be a good reason to make friendships or relationships among students. Students can also
get a better education.
On the other hand
, parental relations in childhood are the most important thing that developing their characteristic features. If that is
possible, young should grow near to their families. According to
researchers, kids
's social and personal skills develop best only when they grow with their family.
In addition
, nevertheless
, if blank times have great importance on
the parents and the Change preposition
to
kids
are developed adequately, sending them to the boarding education centers
might be a good plan.
In conclusion, sending young to boarding schools is quite a bad plan only if workers want to get more time for Change the spelling
centres
labor
. Change the spelling
labour
Otherwise
, these institutes can be educative in some cases. However
, generally
Add a comma
generally,
kids
need the family in the growing period.Submitted by ilyascanaltan on
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task response
Clarify your stance clearly in the introduction. The essay should state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the main argument. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task response
Use more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve your task response score.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive language; engage with a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a balanced view, which is an important aspect of a good essay.
task response
You have presented both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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