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Writing Samples
Band 5

over population in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem.what are the causes of this?How can this problem be solved?

#population #centres #world
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Increasing
Correct article usage
The increasing
show examples
 population in various major
cities
Use synonyms
 across the globe is posing serious concerns.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how
provision
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the provision
show examples
 of
health
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 facilities and advanced
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 draws masses toward city
areas
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 and
then
Linking Words
 argue how
estabilishing
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establishing
 of
well equipped
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well-equipped
show examples
 hospitals and uniform
education
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 across the country can be the most viable solutions. The significant causes why urban
areas
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 are being densely populated are the migration of people from
far off
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far-off
show examples
 places to the
cities
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 in order to enjoy better
health
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 facilities and acquire admission in
well recognize
Correct your spelling
well-recognised
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 educational institutes there.
This
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 is because in distant places there are no
such
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 reliable doctors and laboratories on which people can rely
on
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apply
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for the sake of their
health
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 .
Moreover
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,
the
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apply
show examples
governments across the world spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
huge budgets
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developing and maintaining high
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
Use synonyms
education
Change preposition
of education
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 in urban
areas
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 only.To illustrate,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 research conducted in India depicted that around 90% of institutes that offer higher
eduacation
Correct your spelling
education
 were only available in major
cities
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 of India . The most
prodcutive
Correct your spelling
productive
 solutions to these causes are
provision
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the provision
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 of
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
health
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 facilities and
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the estabilashement
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estabilashement
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establishment
 of
sub campuses
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sub-campuses
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 of the universities that
are providing
Wrong verb form
provide
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same
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the same
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 level of
education
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 in the
cities
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 should
also
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 in the remote
areas
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 as well.As citizens will have access to main hospitals and pharmacies
the
Correct your spelling
they
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don"t
Correct your spelling
don't
 have to move toward the
cities
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.
In addition
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 to that when advanced and equal
education
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will be
Wrong verb form
is
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 made available in the villages ,pupils will feel fully satisfied for themselves and their upcoming generations to stay in their native land
instead
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 of shifting toward the
cities
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.
For example
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, Canada where
population
Add an article
the population
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 is uniform across the
cities
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 and villages has
equal
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an equal
the equal
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 number of colleges in the rural
areas
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 as in its main
cities
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 .
To conclude
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,people for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to reliable medical treatment and promising
education
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 move toward the
cities
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 leaving them extremely populated .
This
Linking Words
 can be overcome by making sure that the citizens are equally
accomodated
Correct your spelling
accommodated
 in terms of
health
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 where so over they dwell .
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task achievement
Try to ensure that every main point is fully elaborated with examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structures to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include transitional phrases more frequently to enhance the connectivity between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, which help clarify the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and adequately frame the discussion.
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