IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

School Children should choose the subjects they study from a young age and stop doing subjects they find uninteresting.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

#school #children #subjects #study #age #support
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These days, the importance of school
children
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 is one of the serious issues that have been discussed all over the serious issues that have been discussed all over the world. There is widespread belief among people that
this
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 issue is a popular
subject
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 of debate. In
this
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 essay, I shall discuss how different issues lead to different outcomes.
To begin
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 with, the association of
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subject
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the subject
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 with several other aspects of today's world has become critical. The discussion related to signifying the value of
this
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 topic has indeed attracted the attention of millions of people around the globe. Needless to say, we should not entirely ignore the impacts of
children
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 choosing subjects from
young
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a young
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 age. Another pivotal aspect of my point of view is that we should understand the potential of
children
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 in today's world. We should
also
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 consider that choosing subjects can have both advantages and disadvantages.
Furthermore
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, we should address the questions and concerns raised by
this
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 topic by taking proper steps and measures.
Hence
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, it is clear from the arguments that we can establish a proper relationship between uninteresting
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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 and other similar topics.
Finally
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, after taking the aforementioned points into consideration, from my personal perspective, I am inclined to believe that school
children
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 choosing interesting
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subject
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subjects
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 have
great
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a great
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 future which is a
subject
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 matter of discussion.
Submitted by niteshrayamajhi542 on

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task achievement
Your essay would be more convincing if you include more specific examples or case studies. For instance, mention if any countries or educational systems have successfully implemented this approach and describe the outcomes.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to clarity and coherence in your writing. Some sentences feel repetitive or unclear. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, maintaining a clear line of reasoning.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points. Provide more detailed explanations about how allowing children to choose subjects can positively or negatively impact their future.
task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt more explicitly. Your introduction and conclusion should clearly align with your stance on the topic and summarize the points discussed in the essay.
general
You have introduced an interesting topic and your engagement with the subject matter is evident.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a structured format with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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