Levels of depression and antisocial behavior in children have increased dramatically in modern societies. This situation has led many people to believe that childhood itself is in crisis. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people think that
children
's depression and antisocial
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in modern societies is because
childhood
itself is in crisis,
while
others think it is not about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood
itself.
This
essay will discuss why
this
is the case and the reasons I think the territory that
children
's in is way more important than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood
. On the one hand, lots of people believe that the change in gen-z is about their childhoods, they went through hard things, which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
case in the past. They are experiencing life
different
Change the word
differently
show examples
from gen-y and gen-x.
Moreover
, it is not only a
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
problem, there are
also
a lot of
children
who grew up
separetly
Correct your spelling
separately
in Alaska,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
also
act anti-social.
On the other hand
, I'm in agreement with those who consider
this different behaviors
Change the determiner
this different behavior
these different behaviors
show examples
in
children
is
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
childhood
itself. Every child has their own
enviorament
Correct your spelling
environment
,
that is
why their country affects their
behaviors
Fix the agreement mistake
behavior
show examples
.
For example
,
children
who
grew
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
up in east
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
,
most
Add a missing verb
are most
show examples
likely to be more insecure and lonely
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the tradition and culture of their countries, like Japan, Japanese people
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
more lonely every year, and it affects the new
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
. In Japan, teenagers started to act more shy in school and public transport, it's because the
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
generation,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
learnt that way.
To conclude
, both idea has
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own excuses, I side with those who think that it is only about society itself. If
childhood
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
case, there wouldn't be kids with different life
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
, but living in the same
enviorament
Correct your spelling
environment
and feeling the same.
Submitted by enver07600 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • societal pressures
  • academic demands
  • technological influences
  • parental neglect
  • family structures
  • mental health issues
  • economic inequality
  • community support
  • well-being
  • heightened awareness
  • improved diagnosis
  • advancements in mental health treatment
  • social support systems
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