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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
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Taking risks might seem terrifying to many people since it requires making fateful decisions, with no real guarantees for what the results will be.
That is
 why people tend to avoid trying new things in their careers or relationships. In my opinion, I disagree with that way of thinking since it indicates cowardness, especially if it does not cause terrible damage.
To begin
 with, hazarding is the only way to improve, because failure teaches humans, allowing them to thrive and excel.
In contrast
, not even trying prevents individuals from developing and feeling accomplished.
For example
, Tomas Edison one of the greatest scientists of all time, failed 99 times to invent the electric lightbulb before succeeding his hundred times which has made his name still mentioned until now, giving him the credit for enhancing lots of definitions about electricity.
Moreover
, trying novel ways to deal with affairs increases the chance of solving the problem
due to
 the number of different available solutions it offers.
In particular
, in marital relations, if the wife is mad with her husband, and he tries everything he knows to reconcile her, but she is still unsatisfied, so he stuns her with a completely unexpected method, she will appreciate what he did and gratify even if she was not pleased with the surprise because she will feel valued by her partner. Another point to consider, in the business field sometimes it is crucial to take some risks to boost profits. Every chance carries losses, but the cleverness is to take sufficient precautions not to escape from the unknown.
To sum up
, living without trying new things, taking risks, and investing in every single chance we acquire is like not living at all,
that is
 why as curious creatures we need to try and learn as much as we can. If we stay fixed on our positions, we will never move forward, ending up inexperienced and full of regrets.
Submitted by salmanasrnasr on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded argument, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to precisely outline your position. Currently, your stance is somewhat implicit.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will help improve the overall flow and readability of your essay. For example, use transitional phrases to link your ideas together more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear beginning and ending to your argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the story of Thomas Edison, which enhance your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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