IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

In many countries,
students
Use synonyms
 have long summer
holidays
Use synonyms
 that
last
Linking Words
 around two months.
While
Linking Words
 extended
breaks
Use synonyms
 offer some benefits for
children
Use synonyms
 and teachers, some people believe that shorter
holidays
Use synonyms
 would be more effective. In my opinion, both sides have valid points, but long
holidays
Use synonyms
 still hold significant value for
students
Use synonyms
’
overall
Linking Words
 development. One major advantage of long school
holidays
Use synonyms
 is that they give
students
Use synonyms
 enough
time
Use synonyms
 to rest and recover from the stress of the academic year. Modern education can be demanding, and
children
Use synonyms
 need a mental break to avoid burnout. During the summer, they can spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with family, travel, or join activities that help them grow socially and emotionally.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
 attend sports camps or art workshops, which improve their creativity and confidence. Teachers
also
Linking Words
 benefit from having extra
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare lessons and attend training sessions.
However
Linking Words
, supporters of shorter
holidays
Use synonyms
 argue that long
breaks
Use synonyms
 can cause learning loss.
Students
Use synonyms
 may forget much of what they learned, especially in subjects like mathematics or foreign languages. When the new school year starts, teachers often need to spend
time
Use synonyms
 reviewing old material, which slows progress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, long
holidays
Use synonyms
 can be difficult for working parents who struggle to find childcare. Shorter but more frequent
breaks
Use synonyms
 throughout the year could help maintain academic consistency and make schedules easier to manage. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 shorter school
holidays
Use synonyms
 may help
students
Use synonyms
 maintain their academic skills and reduce pressure on working parents, long
breaks
Use synonyms
 still play an essential role in giving
children
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 to rest, explore their interests, and enjoy family life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools should aim to create a balance between learning and relaxation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Add more clear main points in each paragraph and tie them to the task.
coherence
Make the flow smoother by linking ideas from one paragraph to the next.
task response
Give more concrete examples and numbers to show a point.
language
Check grammar and spelling to avoid small errors.
content
Clear view that looks at both sides and ends with a balance.
coherence
Good use of connect words like However and In conclusion.
structure
Good structure with intro, 2 body parts, and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: