Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

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It is true that, nowadays, educators are experiencing more pressure from

education

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educational

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, social and commercial points of view. There are several reasons for

this

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, and there are various steps that can be used to tackle

this

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matter. There are two main reasons why

this

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trend is becoming more popular recently. The first contributing factor is an unhealthy environment around

children

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since an expectation from family members could play a significant role in

children

Use synonyms

's tension.

For example

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, comparing one student to other learners, rewarding

children

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who pass the exam, and punishing or complaining about those who fail. Another point to be mentioned is the high competition in every field as many workplaces and academic institutions demand quality people with high GPAs.

Consequently

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this

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social demand would generate more stress for

children

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, especially those who are serious about academics and trades.

Nonetheless

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, some methods can definitely be applied to solve

this

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problem or at least mitigate it.

Firstly

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, it is essential to create a better environment for younger people. To illustrate,

instead

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of complaining and generating more pressure, the family must be a comfortable place for

children

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to relieve and cheer them up from any failures.

Furthermore

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, schools should educate them about how to handle stress appropriately,

such

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as scheduling a special class for mental issues once a week. In doing so,

children

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should be able to express their feelings and strain to experts. In conclusion, there are a variety of elements of these trends, and implementing those aforementioned steps will resolve

this

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problem.

pandin21Mon Aug 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear and sets the context for the essay. However, the phrase 'educators are experiencing more pressure' should be 'children are experiencing more pressure.'

task achievement

In terms of task response, the essay covers the causes and solutions adequately but lacks depth in the explanations and examples. Try to provide more detailed arguments and specific examples to strengthen your points.

task achievement

Some ideas are not fully clear and comprehensive. For instance, mentioning 'many workplaces and academic institutions' could be more specific. Add concrete examples or data to make your point clearer.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured and easy to follow. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the task, which helps in maintaining coherence. Keep this up!

coherence cohesion

You have a good conclusion that summarizes your main points well.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task well by discussing both causes and solutions.

coherence cohesion

Your paragraphs are well-organized and flow logically from one point to the next.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic competition
peer pressure
social media influence
advertising targeting
balanced lifestyle
extracurricular activities
mental well-being
academic expectations
unrealistic standards
college applications

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In many parts of the world, children's were very different from today. What do you think weather adventages or disadventages of life for children in the past?

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.