It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued by certain individuals that learning about local
history
holds more significance for schoolchildren than comprehending world
history
. In my opinion, I partly agree with this
point of view because both world
and local history
are important for children in some way.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why children should learn about local history
. First,
learning about local history
is important in cultural identity education. By learning about prominent events, characters, and historical landmarks in the area, students can better understand their roots, providing a sense of pride and familiarity with the local community. Especially encourage the youth who love history
to have the opportunity to promote the local characteristics. Furthermore
, a good understanding of local history
will help bridge the gap between generations, promoting respect for previous generations. For example
, in Vietnam, after hearing about local history
such
as the day of national independence, the students became more and more interested and
respected Change preposition
in and
to
their predecessors.
Change preposition
by
On the other hand
, studying world
history
should not be overlooked, this
is meant to better understand a country and what it needs to grow stronger. Moreover
, understanding world
history
is a huge advantage for an individual. Taking the US as an example, understanding history
will help individuals gain information about the financial situation and develop the country, thereby improving their position in the country.
In conclusion, although
local history
is necessary for the persons who live in that city or nation, world
history
has a crucial role. I believe that parallel
study of local and global Correct article usage
a parallel
history
can be more effective for young
age.Add an article
a young
the young
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on
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coherence cohesion
Your argument is generally well-structured, but there's room for improving the logical flow between points. Ensure that the transition between paragraphs is seamless and that each subsequent point builds upon the previous one effectively.
coherence cohesion
While a suitable introduction and conclusion are present, consider refining your conclusion to more robustly summarize your key points and restate your opinion more powerfully.
coherence cohesion
You've supported your main points but strive to include more detailed examples and evidence. Specifically, in the discussion of local history, citing particular local events or their impacts could add strength to your points.
task achievement
Your response addresses the tasks, but ensure the balance in discussing local and world history. It is essential to delve deeper into the question, expressing the extent of agreement or disagreement and elaborating on why one might be favored over the other.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas you express are comprehensive and fully developed. Each paragraph should follow a clear central idea, which is currently present but could benefit from more explicit examples and elaboration.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is essential in strengthening your arguments. You could improve your essay by incorporating a wider variety of examples from different contexts or expanding on the examples provided to clearly illustrate your points.