Some people believe that children should do sports so that they will grow up as healthy adults, but others feel sports are just about enjoying yourself. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.

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Doing exercises by
children
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has been a vital topic of debate.
While
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some people believe that doing
sports
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can help
children
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as young adults become healthy, others believe that
sports
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should be just classified as enjoyable
activities
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. Both sides of the argument highlight noticeable points which will be discussed, followed by my own perspective. First of all, doing
sports
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can offer various benefits to individuals, particularly
children
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.
Thus
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, these
activities
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not only can help
children
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to stay fit but
also
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can contribute to
overall
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mental and physical well-being. A prime illustration of
this
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is a
teenager
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teenage
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boy who does
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercises
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such
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as playing basketball games in a regular basic routine, so
this
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boy as a young adult will stay fit and healthy,
who
Correct word choice
and
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follows
Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
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his
schedules
Fix the agreement mistake
schedule
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constantly.
Moreover
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, doing
sports
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can be a real boon to prevent individuals from a variety of diseases
such
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as obesity.
Conversely
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, some people argue that doing
sports
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should be classified as enjoyable
activities
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for
children
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.
Therefore
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, these
activities
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can result in squandering
time
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.
Thus
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, if
children
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devote excessive
time
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to studying rather than doing
sports
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, they will achieve various successes in the future.
For instance
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, some
children
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spend countless times going to the gym every day. Despite
of
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apply
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spending a lot of money,
this
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daily commute can lead to harmful consequences for
environment
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the environment
an environment
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such
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as increasing carbon emission footprints.
Additionally
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, if
children
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dedicate
this
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excessive
time
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through their extracurricular, it will significantly lead to improving their personalities and self-esteem. In conclusion, there are various opinions about doing exercises
by
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for
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children
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.
Although
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some people believe that it is a real boon to grow their personalities and confidence, others argue that it is a waste of
time
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and should be considered as an enjoyable activity. I strongly advocate
to
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apply
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the first view and believe that
children
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should do
sports
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to enhance their
prosperities
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prosperity
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and health.
Submitted by mahanz on

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task achievement
Ensure that your supporting examples are detailed enough to illustrate your points clearly. Try to provide precise examples that directly connect with your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent coherence by clearly linking ideas between paragraphs and transitions. Try using linking words like 'in addition,' 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently.'
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, thoroughly balance both viewpoints and allocate a specific section to express your stance.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, succinctly setting the context and summarizing the arguments.
logical structure
The arguments are logically structured, with each paragraph addressing a specific point; this shows good organization skills.
task achievement
The essay responds well to the task with a clear discussion of both views and a solid personal opinion.
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