Some people believe that children should do sports so that they will grow up as healthy adults, but others feel sports are just about enjoying yourself. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.
Doing exercises by
children
has been a vital topic of debate. While
some people believe that doing sports
can help children
as young adults become healthy, others believe that sports
should be just classified as enjoyable activities
. Both sides of the argument highlight noticeable points which will be discussed, followed by my own perspective.
First of all, doing sports
can offer various benefits to individuals, particularly children
. Thus
, these activities
not only can help children
to stay fit but also
can contribute to overall
mental and physical well-being. A prime illustration of this
is a teenager
boy who does Replace the word
teenage
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercises
such
as playing basketball games in a regular basic routine, so this
boy as a young adult will stay fit and healthy, who
Correct word choice
and
follows
his Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
schedules
constantly. Fix the agreement mistake
schedule
Moreover
, doing sports
can be a real boon to prevent individuals from a variety of diseases such
as obesity.
Conversely
, some people argue that doing sports
should be classified as enjoyable activities
for children
. Therefore
, these activities
can result in squandering time
. Thus
, if children
devote excessive time
to studying rather than doing sports
, they will achieve various successes in the future. For instance
, some children
spend countless times going to the gym every day. Despite of
spending a lot of money, Change preposition
apply
this
daily commute can lead to harmful consequences for environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
such
as increasing carbon emission footprints. Additionally
, if children
dedicate this
excessive time
through their extracurricular, it will significantly lead to improving their personalities and self-esteem.
In conclusion, there are various opinions about doing exercises by
Change preposition
for
children
. Although
some people believe that it is a real boon to grow their personalities and confidence, others argue that it is a waste of time
and should be considered as an enjoyable activity. I strongly advocate to
the first view and believe that Remove the preposition
apply
children
should do sports
to enhance their prosperities
and health.Replace the word
prosperity
Submitted by mahanz on
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task achievement
Ensure that your supporting examples are detailed enough to illustrate your points clearly. Try to provide precise examples that directly connect with your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent coherence by clearly linking ideas between paragraphs and transitions. Try using linking words like 'in addition,' 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently.'
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, thoroughly balance both viewpoints and allocate a specific section to express your stance.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, succinctly setting the context and summarizing the arguments.
logical structure
The arguments are logically structured, with each paragraph addressing a specific point; this shows good organization skills.
task achievement
The essay responds well to the task with a clear discussion of both views and a solid personal opinion.