The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

The assertion that

average

Correct article usage

the average

show examples

standard of

people

health

is likely to be lower in

future

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is now a considerable topic of discussion. I agree with the statement to an extent as there are several negative factors that could impact

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

Firstly

, the prevalence of lifestyle-related diseases poses a significant threat to

future

health

standards. The markets these days are flooded with packed, processed and high sugar content foods that are major

factor

Fix the agreement mistake

factors

show examples

behind the rise in obesity and diabetes amongst

people

Due to

various technological advancements and sedentary

jobs

Add a comma

jobs,

show examples

people

are mostly leading inactive

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

. Activities

such

as watching TV, scrolling through social media or playing video games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

making

people

nothing but couch potatoes.

Secondly

, environmental conditions play a crucial role as well. With increase in the

pollution

Add a comma

pollution,

show examples

there is

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

depletion observed of natural resources which can be alarming to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

future

generations as it can have detrimental

affects

Replace the word

effects

show examples

health

. If these environmental issues are not addressed they could

further

exacerbate the

health

people

near

Correct article usage

the near

show examples

future

. Medical sciences

however

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

made huge advancements.

For instance

breakthrough

Fix the agreement mistake

breakthroughs

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

cancer treatments,

personalised

Correct word choice

and personalised

show examples

medicines have shown promising results.

Furthermore

Add a comma

Furthermore,

show examples

public

health

initiatives are becoming more effective.

Health

campaigns

such

as vaccinations are gaining public

tractions

Fix the agreement mistake

traction

show examples

People

are getting inclined

Change preposition

show examples

such

preventive

health

measures. In conclusion,

while

there are genuine concerns

Change preposition

about

show examples

decline

Add an article

the decline

show examples

health

standards, there are significant advancements in

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

show examples

sector which

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

a ray of hope.

People

however

need to be very proactive and should understand the importance of

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle.

Submitted by bhutani.trisha09 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt well, discussing both the negative factors that could lead to a decline in health standards and the potential positive influences such as advancements in medical science. However, some of your examples and points could be more detailed to fully support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Focus on improving the coherence of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Also, avoid repeating words or phrases; instead, use synonyms and vary your language to keep the reader engaged.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of grammatical and vocabulary errors. Minor mistakes, such as incorrect prepositions, typos, and verb tense inconsistencies, can disrupt the flow of your essay. Paying attention to these details will enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well and give it a structured flow.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized, and your main points are logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced view, considering both the negative and positive factors affecting future health standards, which demonstrates critical thinking.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

The digital age has made the gap between the younger and older generations wider. Give reasons for your own answer.

Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

How the digital tools helped, share your experience and learning from it ?

In many developing countries, there is a problem of declining quality of air and water. What are the causes for this and what measures could be taken to prevent this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+