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Band 5.5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
In
this
 technologically driven world, the
significane
Correct your spelling
significance
 of print
media
 is decreasing day by day, it is considered that the day is not so far when the popularity of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 will make
newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
show examples
 a historical item, which was used in the past to gather
information
. I vehemently espouse
this
 statement
due to
 the factors discussed below in the subsequent paragraphs
along with
 suitable examples.
To begin
 with, let us shed some light on the benefits of online
media
 among
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
 than print
media
. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
 is that one can have access to real-time
information
. To elaborate, through
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
people
 can get up-to-date
information
 with no time around the globe.
However
, printing companies first collect the
information
,
then
 send it to the printing presses to print,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 that pass it the different locations namely
news
 stalls, bookseller shops and registered customers.
Therefore
, manipulation can be noticed in the offline
media
due to
 the time gap between the happening
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
event and
information
 printed on paper. To exemplify, an article was published in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
newspaper
 The Tribune by Editor-in-Chief Dr. Harish Khare in 2018 about the benefits of
internet
news
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 printing
news
, in which he stated that about 80%
audience
 in India preferred online platforms to read
news
due to
 the reliability of online
media
.
Furthermore
, reading
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
 will not have long lasting impact on
people
 than visuals. To explicate,
while
 reading
news
 online,
people
 can watch the incidents and
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as well.
Therefore
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has the power to
gravitate
Verb problem
attract
show examples
audience
Correct article usage
an audience
show examples
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which seems impossible in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of offline
media
.
Apart from
this
,
people
 can access different
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to read
information
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 no additional cost. By doing
this
 they can check the legitimacy of
information
.
Hence
,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
show examples
 of
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
media
 will reduce the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 in upcoming future completely. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that getting updated
information
 within seconds by enjoying visuals by using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 will catch more
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
 in future, which in turn
further
, will vanish the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 newspapers among
people
.
Submitted by dhindsa.randeep on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive expressions like 'real-time information' and 'offline media' for a more varied vocabulary.
task achievement
Ensure you carefully proofread to catch minor errors such as 'significane' which should be 'significance'.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more transitional words and phrases to further improve cohesion and the flow of ideas, e.g., 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' 'Furthermore.'
task achievement
Strong argument points provided with examples, such as the mention of the article by Dr. Harish Khare.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with discernible introduction, main body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Good understanding and usage of task-specific vocabulary, e.g., 'real-time information,' 'manipulation,' 'legitimacy.'

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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