You borrowed an item from your friend. While it was in your possession, it got damaged. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Thank your friend for lending the item to you. Explain how it got damaged. Tell your friend what you plan to do about it.

Dear Robert, I hope

this

email finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing

this

letter to inform some information about the item that I borrowed from you

last

week for my personal use. First of all, I am really grateful as you provided me with your expensive digital camera for the next two weeks. As you know, I joined in an annual excursion with office colleagues at the City Park.

Therefore

, it was really helpful for me to capture the beautiful memories through your camera.

Moreover

, I observed that the shutter button was not functioning properly during the event.

Although

I am not an expert technically, I think

this

malfunction happened

due to

not upgrading the latest software as

this

device is based on

Android

Correct article usage

the Android

show examples

operating system. Since

this

technical problem is related to

software

Add an article

a software

show examples

upgrade, I believe that I could help you to fix

this

issue as I have one friend who has been working in a camera manufacturing company as a software engineer.

Besides

, I already talked with him regarding

this

matter and he confirmed that he is able to fix

this

kind of issue. I hope you will allow me some days to resolve

this

issue. Yours lovingly, Simran

Submitted by faisalmahamood on Wed Feb 14 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter is generally well-structured, with clear paragraphs each focusing on a specific point. However, to improve coherence and cohesion, consider linking your ideas more smoothly by using a broader range of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ('Furthermore', 'In addition to') that can help your paragraphs flow more naturally.

Task Achievement

You've addressed all parts of the task, effectively thanking, explaining the damage, and proposing a solution. To enhance task achievement, ensure your tone matches the formality of the situation. Using phrases like 'Yours lovingly' is unusual in this context and could be replaced with more appropriate closings, such as 'Yours sincerely' or 'Best regards', to maintain a suitable writing tone.

Task Achievement

While the explanation of the damage is given, providing more precise details about how the damage occurred rather than solely focusing on the technical problem can make your response more complete. Incorporating this aspect would strengthen your task achievement score further.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

208 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You borrowed an item from your friend. While it was in your possession, it got damaged. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Thank your friend for lending the item to you. Explain how it got damaged. Tell your friend what you plan to do about it.

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Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shaps in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?