IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people that in a city the best way to travel by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People argue that travelling by
car
Use synonyms
 is the best option,
while
Linking Words
 others argue starting the trip by bicycle is better in the metropolitan area.
Although
Linking Words
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are provided with numerous facilities, the side of convenience,
cars
Use synonyms
 have dominated over
time
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. Using
cars
Use synonyms
 during travelling is the best way ,as it gives a chance to save people's
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, reaching our aim location within 15 minutes by
car
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 is much more advisable rather than doing it by bicycle which will take more than 45 minutes.
In addition
Linking Words
,it is much safer and comfortable at the same
time
Use synonyms
.Whether the weather is either rainy or snowy,
cars
Use synonyms
 will protect us from any kind of weather condition ,
is
Verb problem
won't
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
?
As a result
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,travelling in a
car
Use synonyms
 is helpful to feel ourselves under safety and reach distance much more quickly with qualified conditions.
On the other hand
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, travelling by bicycle is advisable too.As it regularly helps to be physically active.
For example
Linking Words
,it is proven that people who use
bicycles
Use synonyms
 on a daily basis are helpful in achieving a healthy life and the level of risk of diseases related to the heart will be reduced.
Moreover
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,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 do not provide harm with erosion as
cars
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 lead to environmental problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
,we will be able to protect our environment by reducing the amount of
cars
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 and replacing their roles with
bicycles
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,it is important to be physically active and add our help to nature by choosing
bicycles
Use synonyms
 for our journey as it will be the most suitable option ever. In conclusion,in spite of the main cause of a healthy life and saving our nature is using
bicycles
Use synonyms
,I firmly believe travelling by
car
Use synonyms
 provides countless conveniences , especially moving from place to place with little
time
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument. However, introducing slightly more specific examples and further elaboration on your points will enhance your arguments. In particular, consider giving concrete examples about safety issues or environmental benefits.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay flows smoothly by using more cohesive devices. Although your essay is largely coherent, varying the types of transitions can improve the overall readability. Also, keep an eye on repeated phrases and try to find alternative expressions.
task achievement
You've managed to present both views fairly and provided a balanced discussion. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your position and the structure of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
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