Some people think that in a city, the best way to travel by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
have different views as to whether traveling
by car is a better means of transportation or if cycling has more advantages. Change the spelling
travelling
While
there are certain benefits to moving somewhere with the help of cars
, the role of bicycles
in cities
can carry greater weight.
These days, the main means of transportation in cities
are undoubtedly cars
, due to
the advantages they offer, such
as comfort and time savings. Cars
can be a great way to move from one place to another easily, which saves our
time during emergencies or other stressful conditions. As an example, going to work, study, or extreme situations can mitigate potential issues, which is why Correct pronoun usage
us
this
type of transport could gain popularity in cities
due to
its speed. In addition
, unlike bicycles
, cars
can be great in extreme weather. As long as people
continue to use cars
for travel, convenience offers a variety of comforts, including shelter on rainy days and warmth on cold days. Therefore
, cars
prioritize comfort for their users in many ways.
However
, a bicycle is far more beneficial in terms of traveling
around the city because of its potential positive consequences. First of all, Change the spelling
travelling
bicycles
are environmentally friendly machines, meaning that it may be a better way to avoid future environmental problems by introducing them to the public and encouraging them to use them to avoid harming their health later on. Furthermore
, they also
increase the physical activity of people
who live in metropolitan areas, leading to a healthy lifestyle. This
is the reason why preference
of Correct article usage
the preference
people
should be bycycles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
while
travelling. As long as the public in cities
uses more bicycles
, they can avoid being the victims of an unhealthy lifestyle overall
.
To conclude
, although
cars
play a good role in terms of the motion of people
in cities
, I admit that bicycles
yield consistent outcomes.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Expand on your points with more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument. This will enhance the completeness and relevance of your task response.
task achievement
Ensure that all points made are directly addressing the essay question. For example, discussing how cars mitigate potential issues was slightly tangential.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that precisely outlines what your essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have compared the two modes of transportation effectively, pointing out the pros and cons of each.
task achievement
You have provided a clear opinion which is well articulated, especially in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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