the map below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

the map below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the map below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The diagram shows the process through which water is used to produce electrical power.
Overall
Linking Words
, hydroelectric power is generated using water from the sea through a relatively sophisticated procedure which comprises over ten stages. The process begins when seawater is heated by the sun and evaporates to form small clouds in the sky.
Next,
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they merge into a storm cloud, which
then
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rains over the mountain.
This
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rainwater is gathered in the reservoir behind a dam. The following steps involve a pipe which connects the reservoir to a turbine
as well as
Linking Words
a pump
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and is controlled using a valve. Once
this
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valve is opened, water flows into the turbine and rotates it to produce
electrical
Correct article usage
an electrical
show examples
current, following which it is pumped back into the reservoir.
After
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this
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, the electricity produced by the turbine is transferred to the transformer station through high voltage cables. The
last
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stage is when the electrical power is delivered to domestic and industrial consumers,
as well as
Linking Words
educational and medical facilities.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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