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Band 8

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
These days, every business is trying to promote their products by telling people that they are producing new items. But the question is whether
this
 kind of development is helpful or not. Some people believe that trying to build newer things is a positive act. I am completely in favor of
this
 idea and in
this
 essay, I will support my opinion with examples. There are several benefits of trying to be innovative in your business. By
following
this
 approach, you lead your company to make more advanced products and even change the world. Take Apple as an example.
Although
 they were not the first to introduce touch-screen phones, they altered people’s lives by emphasizing how convenient their new phones are. Not only that, there is
also
 a common belief that
this
 struggle for invention put businesses into a healthy rivalry. Different companies compete with each other in order to create the most brand-new products in search of success. In my view,
this
 situation is beneficial for both customers and businesses. Having said that, there is an argument that with the advance of technology, newer demands start to form that weren’t a part of our lives. It is their view that companies make a profit from things that are not necessarily useful. In conclusion,
although
 it is argued by some that
this
 progression is not a necessity, I believe that it is a life-changing event and it leads to an easier way of living. In my opinion, businesses should continue
this
 way of advertisement.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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task achievement
While your essay effectively addresses the topic, providing a complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas, it could benefit from more development and depth in some of the arguments. Including additional examples and further elaborating on existing points could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Cohesive devices are used well, but varying sentence structures and transitions might enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and effectively frame the discussion. You clearly state your position and summarize your arguments, which provides a good sense of completeness to your essay.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the case of Apple. This helps illustrate your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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