Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
Children’s attitudes and personalities are often dominated by their
friends
, or
experts named Correct word choice
and
this
phenomenon as “peer
pressure”. This
essay will discuss whether the drawbacks of peer
pressure within kids overbalance
the advantages.
Many Verb problem
outweigh
peer
pressures are giving the spark of competitiveness within toddlers. While
it is undeniable that having peers is helpful for children’s social development, the sense of rivalry also
encourage
kids to do better than Change the verb form
encourages
the
others. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, befriending a bunch of diligent students will make the one
who befriend
them Wrong verb form
befriended
to be
more diligent. Verb problem
apply
This
happen
mostly because each Change the verb form
happens
one
of them should not feel inferior to other
so they can keep staying inside the group. Fix the agreement mistake
others
Thus
, the friendly contest will enhance the children’s intelligence, accordingly
they will have Add a comma
accordingly,
ambition
to aim greater in the future.
Change the article
the ambition
However
, the rivalry is not all positives
, Fix the agreement mistake
positive
in contrast
, many peer
groups create negative and unnecessary competitions
. If the youngsters stay within a Fix the agreement mistake
competition
consumtive
group of Correct your spelling
consumptive
friends
, then
eventually they will adapt to hedonist behaviour. There are many cases similar such
as adolescents who were once obedient to their parents changed into a rebellious one
due to
their friends
. Consequently
, having the
negative pressure Correct article usage
apply
within
Change preposition
from
the
peers will Correct article usage
apply
destruct
the young generation’s personality and future.
In conclusion, having Verb problem
destroy
peer
pressure within friends
will build the
competitiveness and eventually Correct article usage
apply
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
one
another to achieve something in common. Nevertheless
, it is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
apply
to Correct subject-verb agreement
applies
friends group
that have Fix the agreement mistake
friend groups
negative
influence Correct article usage
a negative
to
each other. Change preposition
on
This
case will possibly happen to children,
unless the parents prevent Remove the comma
apply
this
by continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
filter
and Wrong verb form
filtering
monitor
their offspring’s environment. On that note, the downsides of having Wrong verb form
monitoring
peer
pressures
do not outweigh the benefits.Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
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coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and demonstrate language proficiency.
task response
Work on sentence structures to avoid grammatical errors and improve readability. For instance, 'consumtive' should be 'consumerist' and 'hedonist' should be 'hedonistic.'
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this will make your arguments stronger and more concrete.
task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure among young people.
coherence cohesion
The organization of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The essay offers some specific examples and explanations to support the main points, particularly in discussing the competitive aspect of peer pressure.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...