Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many argue that the
people
who are employed in the most significant branches,
such
as medicine and education, should earn more than those who
busy
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are busy
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with
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
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and entertainment sectors as their importance is
more
Correct word choice
greater
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. I totally disagree with
this
view. I believe that funding amusement and
sports
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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also
important for
people
's mental health and they contribute
country
's recognition.
Human
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Humans
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is
Verb problem
apply
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a complex
entity
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entities
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and cannot be considered as only working and learning
being
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beings
show examples
. In
this
context,
people
need to get rid of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life's hustle and bustle. There are many ways to decharge
such
as watching a football game or listening to a lovely song. Without these activities,
people
may not renew themselves mentally which may lead to some health issues
such
as depression and anxiety.
Hence
, entertainers and
sports
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sportspeople
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people
also
contributes
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contribute
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the
Change preposition
to the
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wellbeing
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well-being
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of the whole community.
Furthermore
,
sports
and entertainment instruments
such
as art are more likely to be popular even
in
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apply
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abroad. Qualified members of these branches are not only known by everyone but
also
can be advertisement itself of
particular
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a particular
the particular
show examples
country
. Being recognised has paramount importance for countries that are
less-known
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less known
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or small. Ricky Martin
for
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, for
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instance, made Costa Rica known owing to his worldwide success.
This
kind of
country
advertisement is only acquired by popularity which is only possible with quality
works
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work
show examples
. In conclusion, some believe that since they do relatively less
critic
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critical
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works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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, sportsmen and
people
who work in
entertainment
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the entertainment
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business
,
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apply
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should be paid less than major
branch's
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branch
show examples
professionals like tutors, doctors and nurses.
However
, sportsmen and entertainers
also
have
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
role in citizens' mental health and they increase their
country
's recognition.
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of your ideas. It will make your essay easier to follow and understand.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and develop your arguments further to strongly support your viewpoint.
task achievement
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or closely related ideas. This will help improve the coherency and flow of your essay.
structure
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Your examples, such as mentioning Ricky Martin and Costa Rica, are relevant and help in supporting your arguments.
task achievement
You have highlighted the importance of both sports and entertainment, and how they contribute to mental well-being and a country's recognition. This shows an awareness of the broader implications of the issue.
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