Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many argue that the

people

Use synonyms

who are employed in the most significant branches,

such

Linking Words

as medicine and education, should earn more than those who

busy

Add a missing verb

are busy

show examples

with

Use synonyms

sports

Correct article usage

the sports

show examples

and entertainment sectors as their importance is

Correct word choice

greater

show examples

. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

view. I believe that funding amusement and

sports

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

also

Linking Words

important for

people

Use synonyms

's mental health and they contribute

country

Use synonyms

's recognition.

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a complex

entity

Fix the agreement mistake

entities

show examples

and cannot be considered as only working and learning

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

context,

people

Use synonyms

need to get rid of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life's hustle and bustle. There are many ways to decharge

such

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as watching a football game or listening to a lovely song. Without these activities,

people

Use synonyms

may not renew themselves mentally which may lead to some health issues

such

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as depression and anxiety.

Hence

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, entertainers and

Use synonyms

sports

Correct your spelling

sportspeople

show examples

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

contributes

Change the verb form

contribute

show examples

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

of the whole community.

Furthermore

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

and entertainment instruments

such

Linking Words

as art are more likely to be popular even

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad. Qualified members of these branches are not only known by everyone but

also

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can be advertisement itself of

particular

Add an article

a particular

the particular

show examples

country

Use synonyms

. Being recognised has paramount importance for countries that are

less-known

Correct your spelling

less known

show examples

or small. Ricky Martin

Linking Words

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

instance, made Costa Rica known owing to his worldwide success.

This

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kind of

country

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advertisement is only acquired by popularity which is only possible with quality

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

. In conclusion, some believe that since they do relatively less

critic

Replace the word

critical

show examples

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

, sportsmen and

people

Use synonyms

who work in

entertainment

Add an article

the entertainment

show examples

business

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

should be paid less than major

branch's

Change noun form

branch

show examples

professionals like tutors, doctors and nurses.

However

Linking Words

, sportsmen and entertainers

also

Linking Words

have

massive

Add an article

a massive

show examples

role in citizens' mental health and they increase their

country

Use synonyms

's recognition.

TUTOOTue Aug 06 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical progression of your ideas. It will make your essay easier to follow and understand.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and develop your arguments further to strongly support your viewpoint.

task achievement

Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or closely related ideas. This will help improve the coherency and flow of your essay.

structure

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points.

task achievement

Your examples, such as mentioning Ricky Martin and Costa Rica, are relevant and help in supporting your arguments.

task achievement

You have highlighted the importance of both sports and entertainment, and how they contribute to mental well-being and a country's recognition. This shows an awareness of the broader implications of the issue.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best of improve road safety is to icrease the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in many countries. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

in many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?