Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#education #people #countries #adults #governments #money

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In the modern world, many

people

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argue that the Government must invest money in

people

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, who cannot read and write,

while

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others believe that if give more financial

support

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to teenagers it will be beneficial for their careers and help in the financial growth of their countries. I believe that spending more cash on youngsters has more advantages than others.

This

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essay will discuss why giving opportunities to freshmen is better than

adults

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. On the one hand, the pupils are still young and have more opportunities to achieve, if given opportunities they will complete higher studies and after completing their education, they will join employment in various sectors

such

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as private and public. Another reason is that at an early age, their pick-up power is more than

adults

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because they study continuously.

In addition

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, these youngsters will contribute more to the country’s economy because they have more qualifications in technical and medical fields.

For example

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, in developing countries, the States are giving extra

support

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to educate sophomores to study abroad and bring new technologies to their home Nations.

On the other hand

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, it is important to provide financial

support

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adults

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, who cannot read and write to get better jobs in society.

Moreover

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, some

people

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left their education in the past

due to

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mixed-up in the bad companies and avoidable circumstances.

Additionally

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, if they are educated , they will come into the mainstream and join positions in the offices, which will help to solve the labour problems.

For instance

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, developed countries require a number of

people

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who can work on digital machines and in offices.

As a result

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, they can fill gaps

instead

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of bringing overseas workers into the country and save money. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides,

it is clear that

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the Authorities should provide financial

support

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adults

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, so they can fill up labour gaps and avoid crimes.

However

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, if give more financial

support

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to teenagers they will achieve their goals to get jobs and benefit the country’s economy.

Submitted by rbtech65 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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task achievement

Clarify your thesis statement. Your stance should be clearly stated and consistently backed throughout the essay.

task achievement

Strengthen the link between your arguments and examples. Provide specific relevant examples to support your key points.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow by using cohesive devices more effectively. This ensures the reader can follow the progression of ideas more easily.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and contributes to your overall argument. Revising your topic sentences might help with this.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easier to follow.

task achievement

You acknowledged both viewpoints and provided a balanced discussion, which is an important part of writing a persuasive essay.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

literacy programs
functional illiteracy
social mobility
inter-generational poverty
workforce development
economic growth
social cohesion
public health
civic participation
resource allocation
national development

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Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience.

In some places old age is value,while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern era, there is a prevailing debate about how young people should allocate their free time—whether more emphasis should be placed on family interactions or outdoor recreation. This essay aims to scrutinize both perspectives, culminating in my balanced standpoint.

You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter: describe the item explain where and when you left it say what action you would like the company to take