Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, many
people
argue that the Government must invest money in
people
, who cannot read and write,
while
others believe that if give more financial
support
to teenagers it will be beneficial for their careers and help in the financial growth of their countries. I believe that spending more cash on youngsters has more advantages than others.
This
essay will discuss why giving opportunities to freshmen is better than
adults
. On the one hand, the pupils are still young and have more opportunities to achieve, if given opportunities they will complete higher studies and after completing their education, they will join employment in various sectors
such
as private and public. Another reason is that at an early age, their pick-up power is more than
adults
because they study continuously.
In addition
, these youngsters will contribute more to the country’s economy because they have more qualifications in technical and medical fields.
For example
, in developing countries, the States are giving extra
support
to educate sophomores to study abroad and bring new technologies to their home Nations.
On the other hand
, it is important to provide financial
support
to
adults
, who cannot read and write to get better jobs in society.
Moreover
, some
people
left their education in the past
due to
mixed-up in the bad companies and avoidable circumstances.
Additionally
, if they are educated , they will come into the mainstream and join positions in the offices, which will help to solve the labour problems.
For instance
, developed countries require a number of
people
who can work on digital machines and in offices.
As a result
, they can fill gaps
instead
of bringing overseas workers into the country and save money. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides,
it is clear that
the Authorities should provide financial
support
to
adults
, so they can fill up labour gaps and avoid crimes.
However
, if give more financial
support
to teenagers they will achieve their goals to get jobs and benefit the country’s economy.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement. Your stance should be clearly stated and consistently backed throughout the essay.
task achievement
Strengthen the link between your arguments and examples. Provide specific relevant examples to support your key points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using cohesive devices more effectively. This ensures the reader can follow the progression of ideas more easily.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and contributes to your overall argument. Revising your topic sentences might help with this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easier to follow.
task achievement
You acknowledged both viewpoints and provided a balanced discussion, which is an important part of writing a persuasive essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
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