IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

: The pie chart below illustrates how Internet users aged 16+ prefer to access the internet at home and in other places.

: The pie chart below illustrates how Internet users aged 16+ prefer to access the internet at home and in other places.
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The pie chart illustrates how
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 aged 16 and above prefer to access the
internet
Use synonyms
 at home and in other locations.
Overall
Linking Words
, mobile
devices
Use synonyms
 are the most popular
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
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, with smartphones and laptops leading the way. Desktop computers and other
devices
Use synonyms
 are less
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
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. The most preferred method of accessing the
internet
Use synonyms
 is through smartphones, with 33% of
users
Use synonyms
 choosing
this
Linking Words
 option. Laptops are a close
second,
Linking Words
with 30% of
users
Use synonyms
favoring
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favouring
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 them. Tablets
also
Linking Words
 have a significant share, with 19% of
users
Use synonyms
 accessing the
internet
Use synonyms
 via
this
Linking Words
 device. Desktop computers are used by 14% of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
, indicating a lower preference compared to mobile
devices
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a small portion, 4%, of
users
Use synonyms
 access the
internet
Use synonyms
 through other means.
This
Linking Words
 data reflects a trend towards more portable and flexible
internet
Use synonyms
 usage, with traditional stationary
devices
Use synonyms
 being less popular.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, users, devices with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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