IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

School students should have no access to the Internet. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your opinion.

#school #students #access #internet #argument
Internet
access
 is the ability to go online, whether using a computer or a smartphone. Some people think that
school
students
 should have no
Internet
access
, but most disagree with the idea.
This
 essay will look at the case for and against and try to arrive at a conclusion. There are two main reasons why people think
school
students
 should not be able to
access
 the
Internet
. The first is that the
Internet
 can be a major distraction from studies.
In other words
, it takes away
students
’ attention from their lessons.
For example
, they know that an interesting video, photograph or article is just a click away, tempting them to check their social media accounts whether doing homework or in-class learning.
Second,
the
Internet
 makes it very easy to cheat. To clarify,
school
students
 can go online for help with schoolwork and get credit for something they have not done.
For instance
, there are several websites that write
students
’
school
 essays for a small fee.
On the other hand
, many individuals believe
school
students
 should have
Internet
access
 for the following reasons. First of all, the
Internet
 makes it easy to do research. What
this
 means is the
Internet
 has a lot of information that
students
 can
use
 for
school
 assignments. As an example, they don’t have to go through hundreds of books to find out about the extinction of dinosaurs. They can simply type the keywords and get specific information with one click.
Secondly
, learning to
use
 the
Internet
 properly is part of a
school
 student’s education. Clearly, many jobs in the future will involve using the
Internet
 and may even be exclusively online. If
school
students
 are not taught how to
use
 it well, they will have a huge disadvantage when they leave
school
. All in all,
while
 some
school
students
 might
use
 their
Internet
access
 unwisely, I definitely believe
this
 should not mean every
school
 student loses all
Internet
access
. Banning smartphones in the classroom and limiting the time
school
students
 spend online should be enough
Submitted by waleed.edu11 on

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clarity of ideas
Try to develop your arguments more comprehensively. This will give your essay more depth and demonstrate your ability to critically engage with the topic.
examples
Ensure that every supporting point has a corresponding example or evidence to give strength to your argument. Currently, the examples are good but could be more detailed.
introduction conclusion
The introduction provides a clear stance and preview of the arguments that will be discussed.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and restates your opinion, providing a clear ending to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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