1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased- knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #college #university #experiences #career #preparation #increased- #support

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

world,Many

parents

generally want their

children

to join college or

university

.Because of

Universities

offer opportunities to gain new

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

meet

Correct word choice

and meet

show examples

considerable

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

show examples

for country and

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

.I will explain why

parents

want

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

children

attend

Add the particle

to attend

show examples

higher education

Correct your spelling

instruction

instuation

Correct your spelling

institutions

First and foremost,

Universities

have unique opportunities

for

Change preposition

show examples

provide personal development regularly

such

as entrepreneurship

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

organizations,

organized

Correct word choice

and organized

show examples

meeting

Fix the agreement mistake

meetings

show examples

with pioneer

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their area.All of them are significant for students

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and develop their

self confident

Add a hyphen

self-confident

show examples

and imagination skills.Especially, If someone says

this

,"In five years,I will have gone

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

abroad for the benefit of my family".Which is

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

valuable idea for

parents

This

example shows that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Universities

should teach hard work for family and own country.

On the other hand

,Education is now costly as compared to the old times.

Parents

should be ready for

this

consumption.

Nevertheless

attend

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

college or

university

is essential for every citizen.

In addition

,Many people

meeting

Wrong verb form

meet

show examples

their

wife

Fix the agreement mistake

wives

show examples

husband

Fix the agreement mistake

husbands

show examples

university

life.

Universities

host students from different social and

economics

Replace the word

economic

show examples

backgrounds.In

this

way,

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

life perspective and to recognize other

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

all around the world.

Furthermore

,these circumstances will be more useful

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

you think.

As a consequence

,Attending

university

could be necessary for those who want to improve themselves. All in all,

Universities

teach many diversity skills

for instance

hard work more efficiency,

meet

Wrong verb form

meeting

show examples

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

friends

Change preposition

of friends

show examples

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

a speech and too

mant

Correct your spelling

many

different

ability

Fix the agreement mistake

abilities

show examples

Parents

always want to better for own

children

Therefore

,They want their

children

to continue their education life at

university

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

Submitted by barmanakarsu on Tue Aug 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structuring of paragraphs to ensure smooth flow between ideas. This will help in presenting arguments more logically.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction can be more engaging and your conclusion can better summarize the main points discussed in the essay.

task achievement

Include more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling.

task achievement

Focus on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This will help in conveying your message effectively.

task achievement

You have attempted to address the task by discussing reasons why people attend college or university. This is a good start for task response.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in giving a structured presentation of your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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