1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased- knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world,Many
parents
generally want their
children
to join college or
university
.Because of
Universities
offer opportunities to gain new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
,
meet
Correct word choice
and meet
show examples
considerable
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
for country and
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
.I will explain why
parents
want
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
children
attend
Add the particle
to attend
show examples
higher education
Correct your spelling
instruction
instuation
Correct your spelling
institutions
First and foremost,
Universities
have unique opportunities
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
provide personal development regularly
such
as entrepreneurship
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
organizations,
organized
Correct word choice
and organized
show examples
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
with pioneer
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their area.All of them are significant for students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and develop their
self confident
Add a hyphen
self-confident
show examples
and imagination skills.Especially, If someone says
this
,"In five years,I will have gone
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for the benefit of my family".Which is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
valuable idea for
parents
.
This
example shows that
,
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apply
show examples
Universities
should teach hard work for family and own country.
On the other hand
,Education is now costly as compared to the old times.
Parents
should be ready for
this
consumption.
Nevertheless
.
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
college or
university
is essential for every citizen.
In addition
,Many people
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
their
wife
Fix the agreement mistake
wives
show examples
or
husband
Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
show examples
in
university
life.
Universities
host students from different social and
economics
Replace the word
economic
show examples
backgrounds.In
this
way,
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
life perspective and to recognize other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
all around the world.
Furthermore
,these circumstances will be more useful
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
you think.
As a consequence
,Attending
university
could be necessary for those who want to improve themselves. All in all,
Universities
teach many diversity skills
for instance
hard work more efficiency,
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
friends
Change preposition
of friends
show examples
,
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
a speech and too
mant
Correct your spelling
many
different
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
.
Parents
always want to better for own
children
.
Therefore
,They want their
children
to continue their education life at
university
or
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
.
Submitted by barmanakarsu on

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coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structuring of paragraphs to ensure smooth flow between ideas. This will help in presenting arguments more logically.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction can be more engaging and your conclusion can better summarize the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Focus on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This will help in conveying your message effectively.
task achievement
You have attempted to address the task by discussing reasons why people attend college or university. This is a good start for task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in giving a structured presentation of your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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