Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Pesronal development is a must for
children
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growth, for which
children
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needs to learn the
difference
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between right and wrong. Many people believe that
punishment
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is necessary for them to learn the
difference
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while
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others believe that time and experience will help them understand
this
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difference
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. Using
this
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essay I will try to explain my reasons
to believe
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for believing
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that
punishment
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is
sometime
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sometimes
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necessary to help
children
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distinguish the
difference
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with specific examples.
To begin
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with,
parents
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and educators have a moral
duties
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duty
show examples
to make
children
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understand the fundamental concepts of right and wrong
Correct word choice
and helps
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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in fostering
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foster
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a sense of responsibility and empathy from a young age. To foster
this
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, there are two basic
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
that
parents
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do to influence their
children
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in
inforcing
Correct your spelling
enforcing
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a
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, one using positive reinforcement and the other
punishment
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. Applying positive reinforcement is much effective to encourage good behavior,
while
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punishments
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can leave bad mental scars and incite fear and resentment.
However
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,
punishment
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is sometimes necessary to
catalyst
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catalyse
show examples
the process of understanding a child why a situation is wrong and what should have been done.
For instance
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,
USA
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the USA
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declared thousands of
children
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being positively reinforced and ignoring
a the
Choose an article
an
the
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actual fact of accepting
in
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apply
show examples
doing good and favoured doing bad based on their emotions.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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makes
punishment
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deemed necessary, to apply these
punishments
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, it has to be constructive and educational
such
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as time-outs or loss of privileges, rather than physical or emotionally damaging actions. In conclusion, despite the long-term negative effects of
punishments
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, I believe there are steps that need to be considered, beginning with positive reinforcement by highlighting the contradictory effects of their decisions. If
children
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persist in making the same mistakes repeatedly, it is the duty of educators—both
parents
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and teachers—to administer appropriate
punishments
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to ensure they do not face detrimental consequences in the future.
However
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, it is important for
parents
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to consider the negative impacts of harsh
punishments
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, and the government should implement new policies to prevent
such
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practices.
Submitted by nick on

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task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your main points. While you have addressed the task, some of your arguments could benefit from more detailed explanations and more relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on coherence and cohesion. Ensure that your paragraphs flow logically from one to another. Improved transitions between ideas would make your argument more compelling.
language use
Address minor grammatical errors and improve the accuracy of your language. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, and use more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability and richness of your essay.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a balanced view by considering the arguments for and against the use of punishment for children.
coherence cohesion
The structure is generally logical, and you make use of paragraphs to organize your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral education
  • sense of responsibility and empathy
  • positive reinforcement
  • constructive punishment
  • loss of privileges
  • mental health
  • understanding of authority and discipline
  • ethical implications
  • humane and justifiable
  • cultural perspectives
  • disciplinary measures
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