Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
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Pesronal development is a must for
children
growth, for which children
needs to learn the difference
between right and wrong. Many people believe that punishment
is necessary for them to learn the difference
while
others believe that time and experience will help them understand this
difference
. Using this
essay I will try to explain my reasons to believe
that Change preposition
for believing
punishment
is sometime
necessary to help Replace the word
sometimes
children
distinguish the difference
with specific examples.
To begin
with, parents
and educators have a moral duties
to make Correct the article-noun agreement
duty
children
understand the fundamental concepts of right and wrong Correct word choice
and helps
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
in fostering
a sense of responsibility and empathy from a young age. To foster Wrong verb form
foster
this
, there are two basic behaviors
that Change the spelling
behaviours
parents
do to influence their children
in inforcing
a Correct your spelling
enforcing
behavior
, one using positive reinforcement and the other Change the spelling
behaviour
punishment
. Applying positive reinforcement is much effective to encourage good behavior, while
punishments
can leave bad mental scars and incite fear and resentment.
However
, punishment
is sometimes necessary to catalyst
the process of understanding a child why a situation is wrong and what should have been done. Replace the word
catalyse
For instance
, USA
declared thousands of Correct article usage
the USA
children
being positively reinforced and ignoring a the
actual fact of accepting Choose an article
an
the
in
doing good and favoured doing bad based on their emotions. Change preposition
apply
Which
makes Correct pronoun usage
This
punishment
deemed necessary, to apply these punishments
, it has to be constructive and educational such
as time-outs or loss of privileges, rather than physical or emotionally damaging actions.
In conclusion, despite the long-term negative effects of punishments
, I believe there are steps that need to be considered, beginning with positive reinforcement by highlighting the contradictory effects of their decisions. If children
persist in making the same mistakes repeatedly, it is the duty of educators—both parents
and teachers—to administer appropriate punishments
to ensure they do not face detrimental consequences in the future. However
, it is important for parents
to consider the negative impacts of harsh punishments
, and the government should implement new policies to prevent such
practices.Submitted by nick
on
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task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your main points. While you have addressed the task, some of your arguments could benefit from more detailed explanations and more relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on coherence and cohesion. Ensure that your paragraphs flow logically from one to another. Improved transitions between ideas would make your argument more compelling.
language use
Address minor grammatical errors and improve the accuracy of your language. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, and use more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability and richness of your essay.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a balanced view by considering the arguments for and against the use of punishment for children.
coherence cohesion
The structure is generally logical, and you make use of paragraphs to organize your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.