Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Thanks to the development of technology and medical fields, people nowadays have an easier

life

than in the past.

Although

some people harbour a belief that getting old is a negative thing, the improvements in

life

have weakened some individuals’ anxiety about age as they think it is easy to live. From my perspective, I am inclined to stand with the opinion that ageing is not a positive process no matter how society develops.

Initially

, one of the main arguments in favour of an optimistic attitude towards ageing is that individuals have sufficient resources to maintain healthy lifestyles.

Due to

technical and medical progress, individuals in modern society are prone to be well looked after. Especially the older generations who require more care than the young ones, are able to live in relatively safer and healthier environments than before.

Besides

abundant support, the emphasis on body fitness and balanced diets have significantly extended

life

expectancy and enhanced general health to a certain degree.

According to

the aforementioned, it seems the demerits of getting old are somehow alleviated in modern

life

. At the other end of the spectrum, ageing will contribute to personal and social burdens. For the sake of social well-being, governmental support in ageing nursing will definitely affect the expenditure and resources in other aspects because they are limited.

In addition

, it can be torture to "save" those elderly who will spend the rest of their lives in bed.

Not to mention

, the family members who are primarily responsible for taking care of those patients.

Therefore

, getting old is a vicious process

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

individuals can only experience the weakness of their bodies and increase the public burdens.

To sum up

, despite the fact that it is easy to live in

such

a highly developing society, the disadvantages of ageing cannot be denied. As no one can escape from the cruel circle, what humans can do is live in present and cherish the surroundings.Carpe diem!

Submitted by s99104032 on Tue Apr 09 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider diversifying your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. This can make your arguments more compelling.

Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, integrate more specific examples and evidence to fully support your points. This helps to substantiate your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Introduction and Conclusion

You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, presenting a clear standpoint which meets the requirements of the task. Well done!

Logical Structure

The logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next is well managed, making your essay coherent and easy to follow.

Complete Response

Your discussion covers both views as requested by the prompt, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fertility
Maternal health
Psychological stability
Social maturity
Economic benefits
Shared responsibilities
Ancestral customs
Cultural imperatives
Personal development
Career establishment
Societal norms
Lifestyle choices
Divorce rates
Life decisions
Subjective wellbeing

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Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that robots are important for humankind's future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People doing dangerous sporting activities like scuba-diving and bungee-jumping should be responsible for their own safety. Rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

some people think that men and women have different qualities , therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?