IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

#people #bicycles #form #transport #case
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The is no denying the fact that a lot of people
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 less as a form of
transport
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
assay
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
 will analyze the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, less of people now
sceared
Correct your spelling
resort
 to
transport
Use synonyms
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is a lot of traffic on the
street
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the earth changed and become hotter in the summer it will be difficult to
use
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bicycles
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 prepared for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycles
Change the noun form
bicycle
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transport
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it hard to go from that kind of
street
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.
Also
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, some
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
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 have a lot of
tree
Change to a plural noun
trees
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 and hard to go from place to place.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
bicycles
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 as, it is
good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
 for our health to drive
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
 than
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, we can publish the benefit
to
Change preposition
of using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in
ealth
Correct your spelling
health
. In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 you will do sport
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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 the same time you will go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your work.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will be easiest to find parking.It is
fast
Correct word choice
faster
show examples
 to
transport
Use synonyms
 by
Use synonyms
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
 than car or bus.
Every one
Replace the word
Everyone
show examples
 can buy
bicyles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
,people will choose them
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the other types of
transport
Use synonyms
. We can prepare the
Use synonyms
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
show examples
 and
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
city
Correct word choice
whole city
show examples
 to can be easy for those
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
transport
Verb problem
travel
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
. In conclusion, the benefits the using
bicycles
Use synonyms
 it is the higher than the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, If you want to be young and in good health I recommend
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay does a good job of introducing the topic and providing a conclusion. However, the introduction could be more specific about the points to be discussed. It's important to have a strong thesis statement that clearly outlines the essay's direction.
logical structure
The essay's logical structure can be improved. While you have presented both sides of the argument, it is essential to have clearer transitions between points and paragraphs. Consider using transition words and phrases to connect your ideas better.
supported main points
Supporting your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations would strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could explain how traffic affects cyclists' safety or provide statistics on the health benefits of cycling.
complete response
Your response covers the necessary aspects of the task, but it could delve deeper into each point. Explore the reasons and solutions more comprehensively to provide a thorough analysis.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some of your ideas are clear, but they could be expressed more comprehensively. Make sure to fully develop each point you raise and elaborate on it to provide a clearer understanding for the reader.
complete response
You have successfully addressed the topic and attempted to cover both the causes and solutions related to the decline in bicycle usage.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame the discussion and provides closure.
supported main points
You have mentioned several relevant points, such as traffic concerns and health benefits, which are pertinent to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: