The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the sequence of produced
sugar
from
sugar
cans. As an initial overview, we can see that, the process
completed
Add a missing verb
is completed
show examples
via seven steps only. A more detailed look at the diagram reveals that the procedure began with planting the
sugar
canes, and that,
sugar
canes require 12 to 18 months to grow up. Thereby you should cut the
sugar
cane,
whereas
this
step of harvesting proceeds with special equipment or, traditional method by hand.
Then
, the cutting
sugar
canes are crushed and converted to
juice
by a crushing device.
Subsequently
, start to refine the
juice
with a limestone filter. After purifying the
juice
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
transforms into syrup cross the evaporator step, by boiling the
sugar
juice
in a special can.
Consequently
, the centrifuge separates
sugar
crystals from syrup, so
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
,
Wrong verb form
dispose
show examples
disposed
Add the preposition
disposed of
show examples
the syrup
thus
, you need just the crystal
sugar
for the next step.
Finally
,
drying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the crystal
sugar
and
cooling
Wrong verb form
cooled
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to become suitable for utilizing
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Manufacturing process
  • Harvesting
  • Transporting
  • Processing plant
  • Washing
  • Crushing
  • Boiling
  • Concentration
  • Purification
  • Crystallization
  • Cooling process
  • Packaging
  • Distribution
  • Sustainability
  • Efficiency
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