Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is conventionally believed that developed
countries
should participate in assisting foreign ones which
are in poverty and an unlivable situation. Despite the fact that it is Correct pronoun usage
who
philanthropic
tendency, some people have a negative orientation towards Add an article
a philanthropic
the philanthropic
this
statement; in light of the fact that the assistant country would cope with other issues
, such
as homelessness and unemployment. This
essay will express my positive perspective on this
statement and supportive reasons.
The unity and togetherness of the world is undeniable. In the modern era, states have mutual effects on each other and their domestic economic, political and scientifical satisfactory
is associated Replace the word
scientific satisfaction
to
Change preposition
with
the
overseas Correct article usage
apply
aids
. Fix the agreement mistake
aid
For example
, United
Arab Emirates has a huge budget to invest in various areas, Correct article usage
the United
however
, Arabian
suffered from unharvesting soil and agriculturally awful weather. Correct article usage
the Arabian
Thus
, the government dedicates a
capital to Singapore’s agricultural industry, which has a suitable farming potential Correct article usage
apply
consequently
, to sell underpriced excessive nutrition to them. In this
regard, the relationship among countries
is a vital factor to progress.
On the other hand
, the development and existence of the world would be impossible without unitedly
cooperation. During Change the adverb
united
the
time, human beings Correct your spelling
this
have
faced numerous challenges and difficulties which were unlikely to Unnecessary verb
apply
manipulate
and overcome those horrible conditions without international Wrong verb form
be manipulated
aids
. Fix the agreement mistake
aid
For instance
, during the Pandemic, all countries
allocated their money and time to eradicate the virus and vaccinate all people. America provided and exported the majority portion of Africa; due to
light fact that they
without the transcontinental vaccination was essential to eradicate. All in all, the Correct pronoun usage
apply
countries
unity underlies the survival of humans.
Change noun form
country's
countries'
To conclude
, every state has their own issues
, however
, some of these issues
could be solved with other countries
’ assistance. Not to mention
that some global issues
have been overcame by all countries
’ coordination. Therefore
, government
should strike a balance between national and transnational Add an article
the government
issues
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence/cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to fully explain how each example supports your argument. This can improve the reader's understanding and the strength of your argumentation.
coherence/cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity and prevent misunderstanding.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively introduces the topic and your stance on it.
coherence/cohesion
The essay has a logical progression of ideas, with separate paragraphs discussing different aspects.
task achievement
Use of relevant examples to support your points is notable.
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