IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries from five organisations from 2008 to 2011. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries from five organisations from 2008 to 2011. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #amount #money #countries #five #organisations #report #university #lecturer #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the amount of money given from five companies to developing nations from 2008 to 2011. Units are measured in billions.
Overall
Linking Words
,as we can see from the statistics organisations recorded the highest amount of money in 2010 and 2011.
While
Linking Words
 the organisation4 was lest. the
first
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
 bought over 0.5
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, they bought around 1
billion
Use synonyms
 in the next
year
Use synonyms
 ,and
then
Linking Words
 they back to the same amount of money as the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
.Unlike the
first
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
,
company
Use synonyms
 2 gave around 1.25
billion
Use synonyms
 in the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
, but after that, the figure rose significantly in the next 24 months and reached 2.5
billion
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
 the second
company
Use synonyms
, Organisation3 gave 1.5
billion
Use synonyms
 in the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 before it increased to around 1.75
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2009 ,
then
Linking Words
 it fell to just below 1.4 and went up to 1.5 in the
last
Linking Words
 of the period.Organisation 4 started at 0.75 in 2008 ,
then
Linking Words
 it fell to 0.4, and after that it was almost unchanged. the
last
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
 gave 1.3 in 2008 before it dropped rapidly in the next 3 years and reached 0.4
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2011.
Submitted by dihme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words first, company, billion, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • funding
  • developing countries
  • organizations
  • donations
  • contribution
  • trends
  • stable
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuation
  • notable
  • significant
  • amount
  • sum
  • beginning
  • end of the period
  • highest
  • lowest
What to do next:
Look at other essays: