You have been working for a company for some time, and other rival companies are willing to employ you with a higher salary for all the practical experience you have gained. Write a letter to your company manager and in your letter • Explain the situation • Say what you would like the manager to do (increase the salary etc.) • Say what action you would take in case the manager fails to meet your demands You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Dear Mr Singh, I am writing
this
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letter to inform you about
my
Correct determiner usage
a
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recent job offered by our rival companies.
To begin
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with, in a recent networking
conference
Add a comma
conference,
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I interacted with other
company's
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companies'
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senior associates.
As a result
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, they were impressed with my qualifications, knowledge and experience
which
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, which
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I have gained in the past 5 years.
In addition
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, they have decided to offer me a massive salary and benefits ,
for instance
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, yearly bonuses and health benefits
etc
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, etc
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.
Therefore
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, I would like to ask for an increment equal to what I was offered by other organisations.
Furthermore
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, I would prefer working from home at least 3 days a week. I firmly believe that I deserve
this
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raise, as I
gave
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have given
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remarkable performance throughout my tenure.I would appreciate it if you could meet my demands.
Otherwise
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, I have to acknowledge the offer provided by our competitors. I would be grateful for your prompt response. Yours sincerely saransh sharma

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add one clear line about why the company should keep you.
task response
Task response: The tone is mostly formal, but some lines sound too direct. Use softer words like 'I would be grateful if you could consider'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a clear order. Try to link them with simple words like 'also', 'because', and 'if'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check spaces after full stops and commas, and keep each sentence easy to read.
task response
Task response: You cover the situation, your request, and your next action clearly.
task response
Task response: The purpose of the letter is clear from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
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