The internet has transformed the way we live, but it has alos created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

In the modern era, the
internet
has become
the
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an
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integral part of
human's
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human
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life,
however
,
along with
technological advancement, numerous severe issues are origin by the
internet
will stop
this
as a discuss about
the
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apply
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problems and
solution
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solutions
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off the
internet
. When it comes to the problems
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that emerged
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emerged
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emerge
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from the
internet
, the first and foremost most
commonly
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common
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issues
comes
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that comes
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into
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to
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light
is
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are
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online scams and frauds. Since people have started using digital
transaction
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transactions
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and online banking through
internet
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the internet
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, they off only
targeted
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been targeted
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by
the
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apply
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scammers. They always seek innocent individuals from whom they can still information, which is called fishing.
Secondly
, people especially
Young
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the Young
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Generation
is
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are
show examples
using the
internet
immensely these days for online classes, online games and
for
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apply
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social media.
This
addictive
behavior
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behaviour
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is not wise for their physical
as well as
mental health.
For example
,
according to
the
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apply
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doctors
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doctors,
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76% population of children have weaker eyesight in the world
due to
the excessive use of the
internet
. If they continue to do so they will have to undergo
eye-surgeries
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eye surgeries
show examples
. When it comes to the solutions
of
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to
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the given problem, the first and the most effective one, I believe is
the
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that
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strong security measures needs to be implemented by online websites on their online services. So that they can easily
detected
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be detected
detect
show examples
and
logged
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log
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sensitive data in case of stealing
install
Verb problem
apply
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secondly
, social awareness could be the possible course of action through the government can reduce the usage of the
internet
among the Younger demographics.
This
can be done by
familiarize
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familiarising
show examples
them with
severe
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the severe
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repercussions and negative impacts of the
internet
.
For example
, in 2017, as
online
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the online
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shopping website Amazon realized that their customers
are
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were
show examples
triggered by online scammers, they started using
one
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a
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time
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one-time
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password method to secure the safety of their customers and the data has been
showed
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showing
shown
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that
this
matter successfully dropped online scamming by 73%. In conclusion, the
internet
is
Boon
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a Boon
show examples
for our modern society, which has a lot of positive impacts,
however
,
it's
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its
show examples
negative sides cannot be ignored. After considering the
internet
's role in the modern world, I believe,
individual
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individuals
show examples
have to learn how to use the
internet
wisely.
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

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coherence cohesion
You should improve the logical flow of ideas in your essay. At times, the transitions between ideas feel abrupt and lack seamless connection. Try using more cohesive devices and linking words to join sentences and paragraphs together smoothly.
coherence cohesion
There are areas with grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'the internet has become the integral part of human's life' should be 'the internet has become an integral part of human life'. Focus on refining these sentences for clarity, and consider proofreading for grammatical issues.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, but ensure they are clearly linked to the problem or solution being discussed. For example, your mention of children and weaker eyesight due to internet use could be expanded on by linking directly to the specific problems it causes.
task achievement
You have successfully identified two major problems associated with the internet – online scams and excessive use by young people. This shows good understanding of current issues.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and offers a perspective on the responsible use of the internet.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transformation
  • revolutionized
  • exponential growth
  • innovations
  • vulnerable
  • breach
  • safeguard
  • encryption
  • phishing
  • awareness
  • dependence
  • isolation
  • accessibility
  • empowerment
  • dissemination
  • verification
  • credibility
  • regulation
  • legislation
  • collaboration
  • ethical
  • accountability
  • authenticate
  • counterfeit
  • regulate
  • monitor
  • educate
  • promote
  • implement
  • enforce
  • combat
  • enhance
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