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Band 7.5

Today different types of robots are being developed which can serve as companions and workers to help at work and at home. Is this a positive or negative development?

#robots #companions #workers #work #home #development
In
this
 fast-moving world, people are being advanced in every domain of life, including robot technology which can be an assistant to them. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of owning a robot.
To begin
 with, there are numerous fields where
robots
 are noticed as a primary source of workforce.
For example
, in order to accomplish household chores, we use a variety of technology that can be portable for people.
Moreover
,
robots
 are able to perform certain activities independently. To clarify, minor tasks can be completed without the supervision of humans,
such
 as washing, cooking, and even in the medical sphere, where scientists are taking advantage of robot technology.
In addition
, we are witnessing the situations where transplantation of human organs is being conducted by the unsurpassed aptitudes of cutting-edge technologies.
Furthermore
, one of the beneficial aspects of
this
 process is that there is no barrier to completing these operations successfully.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 drawbacks to utilizing
robots
.
Firstly
, these androids have no feelings or good manners, but it is not their fault.
Although
robots
 are developing day by day, their lack of intuition is not catching the attention of scientists. Another factor is their reputation in our society. If
this
 process continues like
this
, people will not have to work in the future because their jobs will be done by these automated vehicles.
As a result
,
robots
 could conquer individuals in the long term. In conclusion, despite the fact that the fact that up-to-date technologies have so many benefits, their drawbacks far outweigh the advantages
Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in discussing both pros and cons equally. Provide a more balanced argument by elaborating on the drawbacks of robots as well.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences can be more concise. For instance, 'people are being advanced in every domain of life' can be simplified to 'people are advancing in various fields.'
task achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to support your points. For instance, instead of generally mentioning robots in the medical field, specify how surgical robots assist in precise operations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This can be done by linking sentences more effectively, and using transitional phrases like 'on the contrary' when introducing opposing views.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is good, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, make sure the conclusion clearly summarizes the main points rather than introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Improve the cohesion by maintaining a consistent use of pronouns and conjunctions. For example, avoid starting sentences with 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' too frequently.
introduction
Your introduction sets the stage well, clearly stating that you will discuss the pros and cons of robots.
supported main points
You included specific fields like household chores and the medical field, which makes your arguments relatable and concrete.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively restates your position, ensuring that the essay feels complete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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