IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘on big traffic jam’ How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that
transportation
Use synonyms
 is one of the crucial inventions in history. But, in the
last
Linking Words
 thirty decades, the number of vehicles has exceeded which led to huge
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 in cities. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my view in
this
Linking Words
 case and talk about the tools that governments figure out solution to decrease using it. First and foremost, I agree with the increasing number of cars in recent periods and
this
Linking Words
 increase has led to congestion, especially in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 or main road during the peak working hours at 07 am and 5 pm because everyone has gone to work. At
this
Linking Words
 time the difficulty to reach places needs more time than in different time zones because all people have used their car
instead
Linking Words
 of using public
transportation
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, In Istanbul, everyday people spend more than 2 hours to get their work still and visa versa.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the one of approaches that governments work on is infrastructure and providing multiple
transportation
Use synonyms
 ways to mitigate
traffic
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as building bridges, tram stations, and tunnels and encouraging people to use them rather than their cars through reducing wages and raising the fuel cost.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they eradicate the
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam.
In addition
Linking Words
 to building the facilities out of the city and providing
transportation
Use synonyms
 that
also
Linking Words
 helps to mitigate the crowd
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the city center.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays for a short trip to markets or restaurants humans get used to going by car
instead
Linking Words
 of walking or using eco-friendly ways.
To sum up
Linking Words
, governments have to figure out solutions and always plan to eradicate
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam problems. Especially, in the industrial and capital cities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In order to meet the task requirement more effectively, the essay could provide a more detailed analysis of the issue. For example, discussing the nature of rapid car ownership increase with some statistical data or trends would add depth to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas are clearly and logically connected. In some parts, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, linking government initiatives directly to the reasons they reduce car usage would enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, it could benefit from a more organized layout. Ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea that is clearly introduced and concluded would improve the flow.
task achievement
There are a few grammatical and syntax errors that could be improved for clarity. For instance, 'the number of vehicles has exceeded' could be changed to 'the number of vehicles has increased significantly,' and 'visa versa' should be 'vice versa.'
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets a clear context for the essay, outlining both the problem and the intended discussion about solutions.
supported main points
The essay acknowledges and addresses the prompt with relevant examples, such as referencing Istanbul's traffic issues.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and provides a coherent end to the discussion on government measures.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: