It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Taking
risks
is a crucial factor in the lives
of humans no matter in professional and personal lives
. In this
essay, I will argue that this
factor's benefits outweigh the drawbacks in terms of the probability of being successful.
To begin
with, taking an adventure in people's professional lives
is one primary element of success
. This
is because humans can receive more different experiences during the jeopardous period. For example
, Steve Jobs, the first CEO of Apple. In the earlier periods, there were only folded traditional cell phones on the market. However
, Steve Jobs persisted in his innovation to create smartphones without any financial support, ultimately successfully demonstrating the first smartphone, which was named iPhone 1. This
is a typical example to illustrate a person who struggles with his business, thereby receiving success
. Furthermore
, it also
reflects the importance of taking risks
.
Another significant aspect is that taking an adventure affects on personal life. Because this
approach considerably stimulates creativity, helping people become outstanding. For instance
, many extraordinary scientists, such
as Shuji Nakamura who
created the blue LED and eventually won the Nobel Physics Prize in the year 2014. In his speech, he said that only consistent perseverance to confront unknown challenges and take Correct pronoun usage
apply
risks
is the only true measure to become outstanding. Indeed, continuously facing difficulties can be an accessible method to achieving success
; additionally
, it may have a higher likelihood of creating those unique notions. Although
certain situations are hard to overcome these challenges, particularly in some financial crises, perseverance will be the vitally important factor to pass to success
.
To sum up
, I firmly believe that the benefits of taking risks
outweigh the detriments due to
the more likely to become outstanding. Not only does it affect humans' professional lives
but also
assists individuals' personal lives
.Submitted by daniellin0717 on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each main point is clearly explained and developed with relevant, specific examples. Some arguments could be further elaborated to strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow between paragraphs to make transitions smoother. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the readability of the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on the topic of taking risks.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a good frame for the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as those of Steve Jobs and Shuji Nakamura, are used to support the main points effectively.