In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, the elderly population is
unpresedentely
Correct your spelling
unprecedentedly
unprecedented
increasing,
this
trand
Correct your spelling
trend
brings challenges and
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for the government.
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
can promote diversity in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, they place
enomeous
Correct your spelling
enormous
stress
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
healthcare
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the healthcare
show examples
system
, which, in my opinion,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
far
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
any possible advantages. On the
posstive
Correct your spelling
positive
side, elderly workers can bring valuable
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
for
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to
show examples
workforce
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the workforce
show examples
, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of diversity. Their experience and unique perspectives can enhance
innovative
Replace the word
innovation
show examples
and problem-solving in the team.
This
is not
incommont
Correct your spelling
common
the seasoned professional occupying the top positions in many
renowed
Correct your spelling
renowned
companies, like
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Google and Apple.
However
, it is noticeable that
this
is only applied
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a small fraction of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
. In
the
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apply
show examples
most
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
, the elderly workers struggle to reach the productive level of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
younger counterparts. Facing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
puncuation
Correct your spelling
punctuation
tasks or
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
show examples
problems
switfly
Correct your spelling
swiftly
might
dinilish
Correct your spelling
diminish
the added value they bring to the team.
Conversely
, the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population can bring
monumantal
Correct your spelling
monumental
strain to
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
system
. As
the
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apply
show examples
age
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
,
people
tend to develop age-related conditions, needing more medical attention, long-term health care, and
the
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apply
show examples
help for chronic
aliment
Correct your spelling
ailment
show examples
. The
increasely
Correct your spelling
increase
medical
Change preposition
in medical
show examples
needs is a major
disadvantages
Change the noun form
disadvantage
show examples
to
the
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apply
show examples
society because it requires
government
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the government
show examples
to pay more resources to
Correct article usage
the healcare
show examples
healcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
sector and have to decrease the input in other areas,
such
as business, education, and
infrustructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
.
Hence
, the whole lift quality will decline
due to
the overwhelmed
healthcare
system
operating. In conclusion,
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
can promote diversity in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, I argue that strain from
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
system
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
far
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
the advantages
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
the resources allocated to medical areas for elderly
people
will be harmful to other important areas.
Submitted by universe.edge on

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spelling
Ensure there are no spelling errors. For example, 'unpresedentely' should be 'unprecedentedly', 'enomeous' should be 'enormous', among others.
content
Clarify and refine the main points to make the argument stronger and more persuasive. Make sure each paragraph contains a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
content
The essay showcases a clear understanding of the topic and attempts to weigh both advantages and disadvantages.
examples
Real-life examples, such as referencing companies like Google and Apple, add depth to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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