Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and dealing with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments?

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Enhancing health and treatment methods is crucial for both society and

individuals

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, necessitating the support of medical

research

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. In

this

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essay, I will explain why the

government

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should take majority responsibility for medical

research

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However

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, private

companies

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and

individuals

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should

also

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assist those

research

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programs. Develop medical

research

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and improve treatments that are beneficial for all of society.

Therefore

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, it is imperative that all segments of society endorse

this

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progress.

However

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, the majority of the responsibility for funding

these researches

Fix the agreement mistake

this research

show examples

should fall on the

government

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. First and foremost, financing

research

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necessitates a substantial financial investment, which only the

government

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can afford.

Secondly

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, the

government

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has the public authority to support medical development. Engaging medical

research

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must involve relevant authorities,

such

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as hospitals and laboratories.

Government

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funding makes it easier to mobilize these resources.

Finally

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, medicine and treatment are matters of public safety; the

government

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should not only fund those

research

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projects

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apply

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but

also

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supervise the

research

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process to ensure their security. All citizens share in the benefits of medical

research

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Therefore

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, both private

companies

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and

individuals

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should contribute to medical

research

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to the best of their abilities. Private

companies

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could donate and offer some necessary resources for medical

organizations

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to support their

research

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Individuals

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on the other hand

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, can assist with simple but necessary tasks as volunteers in their free time. In conclusion, the establishment of medical

research

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organizations

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necessitates a substantial financial commitment, and the

government

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should assume primary responsibility for funding these

organizations

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to safeguard the public interest. Private

companies

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and

individuals

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could assist those medical

organizations

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with the

research

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duzirongWed Aug 07 2024

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task achievement

While your argument is well-presented, try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your overall essay and make your arguments more persuasive.

task achievement

Work on the clarity of your ideas. Sometimes your points can be a bit repetitive or unclear. For example, you repeat the idea that government funding facilitates mobilization of resources and public safety more than necessary.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a consistent structure throughout your essay. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences with evidence or examples, and a concluding sentence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, which gives a clear direction and summary to your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-organized and you have provided reasons for why the government should primarily fund medical research.

task achievement

You address the prompt directly and provide a complete response discussing both the role of the government and the role of private companies and individuals.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and dealing with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some think they can use as much fresh water as they want, but others say governments should limit water use because it’s not endless. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?