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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #people #museums #london #months #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart illustrates the number of
people
Use synonyms
 that have visited different numbers of museums in London during various months.
To begin
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, most of the visitors visited the
museum
Use synonyms
 in August, with the majority, in
this
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 case approximately 700,000 of them attending the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, from the graph, the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 is considered to be the most attended
museum
Use synonyms
 in London across all five months.
On the other hand
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, there is a dramatic difference between the
British
Use synonyms
 and National
Museum
Use synonyms
. From the chart, there is a small portion of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting the National
Museum
Use synonyms
, with a total across all five months that doesn't exceed 1,200,000
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, the second most favourable month to go to museums is the month of September, with the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting the Science and
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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, it is widely obvious that museums are very popular as millions of
people
Use synonyms
 visit them throughout the year.
Submitted by Rneem on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, museum, british with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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