IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two line graphs illustrate the developments in the
posession
Correct your spelling
possession
 of electrical devices and the length of time dedicated to housework per week in one country in almost one century from 1920 to 2019. The ownership is measured in percentage and time in
hours
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
vacuum
Fix the agreement mistake
vacuums
show examples
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
 account for the highest proportion of ownership in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few decades,
while
Linking Words
 they were below the washing machine's figure in the early decades.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is evidently noticed that housework
hours
Use synonyms
 witnessed a continuous decline over the period given.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the ownership of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 spiked from around 6% in 1920 to about 56% and 90% in 1940 and 1960 respectively. Afterwards, it reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak of 100% in 1980 and remained
uncheged
Correct your spelling
unchecked
 until 2019.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
posession
Correct your spelling
possession
 of vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 registered three consecutive 20% growth and stood at 30%, 50%, 70% and 90% in 1920, 1940, 1960 and 1980 respectively, recording a considerable jump in every two decades. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it hit the summit of 100% in 2000 and remained stable until 2019.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the total weekly housework
hours
Use synonyms
 declined significantly throughout the century. The figure stood at 50
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1920 and
then
Linking Words
 faced three consecutive decreases and landed at about 15
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1980
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 remained relatively steady until 2000.
Then
Linking Words
 it witnessed a final fall to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in 2019.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: