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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below show gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictaion for 2030 and 2040

The graph below show gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictaion for 2030 and 2040
#show #information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictaion
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The graph provides information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
population
Use synonyms
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
 for 2030 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, Malaysia
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
clearlly
Correct your spelling
clearly
 the highest
popuation
Correct your spelling
population
 from 2000 to 2040 years than the other countries. In 1990
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of the
population
Use synonyms
, shows changed suddenly in all four countries.
Malaysia
Change noun form
Malaysia's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 living in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
30
Change preposition
at 30
show examples
% in 1970 and upward to 80% in 2040.
In addition
Linking Words
, from 2030 to 2040 was
rasie
Correct your spelling
raise
anly
Correct your spelling
only
 about 5%.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1970 to 1980 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 living in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 was the same rate.
However
Linking Words
, in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 of 1980 suddenly
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
 50%. From 1990 to 2020
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the same rate
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people living in Thailand.
Also
Linking Words
,Hitting the highest point around 50% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in 2040. Indonesia
was have
Change the verb form
had
show examples
 the lowest
population
Use synonyms
 in 1970,but from 1970 to 1980 was gently
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 in
indonesia
Change the capitalization
Indonesia
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to grow until became the second highest
population
Use synonyms
 of other all three cities.
Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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