IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Crimes and other kinds of information on TV and newspaper have bad consequences. This kind of information should be restricted to be shown in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

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Some
information
Use synonyms
 about crimes and others have negative results and
therefore
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 should be shown to a limited extent. I firmly agree with the restriction of some knowledge or news in the
media
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that is
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 about bad actions
such
Linking Words
 as crimes.
To begin
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 with,
media
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 has paramount influence over
society
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,and anything
that is
Linking Words
 put into
media
Use synonyms
 should be controlled for the betterment of
society
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 because some cases may affect badly people.
These
Correct pronoun usage
This
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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information
Use synonyms
 that concerns cruel actions. Children ,
for example
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, if they find knowledge about negative things, their mental health
affected
Add a missing verb
is affected
show examples
 adversely
due to
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 facts that they are highly sensitive.
Thus
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, restriction offers a proper way to deal with
such
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 bad consequences that are caused by putting inappropriate
information
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
.
Secondly
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, these kinds of negative data on
media
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 may have led to social conflicts that divide a notion's comfort and
harmoney
Correct your spelling
harm
. To mitigate
such
Linking Words
 social collision we must curtail unfavourable pieces of
information
Use synonyms
 in
media
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, some racist movements unfortunately have increased dramatically in recent years because of
freeness
Correct article usage
the freeness
show examples
 of publishing in
media
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 without limitation. Migration is a deliberate topic that easily causes dissension in
society
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 and some
media
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 channels resisted
this
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 debate which results in nothing but disagreement.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the UK many people express violence against immigrants because of bad news about migration in the
media
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 So, to address
this
Linking Words
 issue, controlling
media
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 is effective for ensuring balance in the public between different individuals or groups. In conclusion, publishing immoral things in
media
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 has profound impacts on
society
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 and avoiding these limitations is essential. It may have a
deletrious
Correct your spelling
deleterious
 effect on the psychology of children and the
consequance
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
 of social strife with immigrants.

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clear comprehensive ideas
Consider improving the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are confusing due to awkward phrasing. For example, 'media has paramount influence over society' could be rephrased to 'the media wields significant influence over society.'
clear comprehensive ideas
Avoid repetition by using synonyms and vary your sentence structures. For instance, rather than repeatedly using 'media,' you can alternate with 'broadcast outlets,' 'news channels,' etc.
clear comprehensive ideas
Check for and correct grammatical errors and typos, like 'deletorious effect' should be 'deleterious effect' and 'deletrious.' Attention to detail in grammar will enhance clarity and professionalism of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which improvement the structure and readability.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, such as the impact on children’s mental health and social conflicts related to migration.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with explanations and examples; this enhances the overall persuasiveness of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • psychological impact
  • anxiety
  • fear
  • desensitization
  • sense of insecurity
  • sensationalize
  • viewership
  • readership
  • moral panic
  • unrealistic fear
  • copycat crimes
  • glorify
  • public awareness
  • community involvement
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • restriction
  • freedom of the press
  • democratic principle
  • well-informed citizens
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