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Band 1.5

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #tourism #source #income #effects
Yes ı agree because ı think international
tourism
more
Add a missing verb
has more
show examples
 benefits. İnternational
tourism
 is
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 because more
people
 see
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 culture and destinations.
People
 share their thinks with friends and family and maybe
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
people
 prefer the
country
. So more
people
 visit the
country
 and get more money because
people
 spend the money in the
country
 visit during.
Also
 the
country
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
people
.
World
Add an article
The world
show examples
 always changes. World period is
adverb
Correct article usage
an adverb
show examples
 period now. İf we visit international
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 we share on social media accounts.
Then
 different
people
 see
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
our posts and maybe they like the location. Social media benefits
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
international
tourism
.
Finally
, international
tourism
 brings more money and influence to the
country
 and
people
 learn is different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and see new destinations.
Submitted by emirhanozkan5757 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task, but the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear, but try to organize them into clearer paragraphs with topic sentences. This will improve the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a more detailed conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
language ability
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Consider using more complex sentences and vocabulary to improve clarity and fluency.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion in favor of the benefits of international tourism.
task content
You recognize the influence of social media in promoting international tourism, which is a relevant and modern point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revenue
  • Accommodation
  • Cultural exchange
  • Infrastructure
  • Pollution
  • Erosion
  • Overcrowding
  • Economic dependency
  • Global events
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Mutual understanding
  • Strain on natural resources
  • Foot traffic
  • Local traditions and customs
  • Cultural awareness
  • Vulnerable
  • Pandemics
  • Political instability
  • Residue
  • Host country
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