Nowadays, a lot of people enjoy watching TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

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At present, a large number of

people

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love watching television. In my opinion, I consider that watching

sports

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can bring about more advantages for human beings compared to any problems it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits gained by watching

sports

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are extremely useful for audiences.

Firstly

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, many

people

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who play a sport can improve their skills by watching

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sports

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shows again and again.

In other words

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people

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can see the games that they are interested in more clearly and pick up some skills quickly.

Secondly

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, not all

sports

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fans have the chance to attend

sports

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events.

For instance

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, work commitments or financial constraints prevent some individuals from attending the current Olympic Games in Paris.

Hence

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, the only choice is to sit in front of the

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and watch their favourite team or sportsman play. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when

people

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sit in front of a

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watching

sports

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events. One problem is that

such

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a practice can easily become an addiction that makes

viewers

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viewers'

viewer's

show examples

bodies stiff and rusty.

For instance

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people

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who are interested in watching football matches often sit on the couch for a few hours without being active, and if

this

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keeps on going for a

while

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, it will affect them physically. Another negative aspect is that

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viewing is a passive activity often accompanied by compulsive consumption of junk food. The show draws our attention, causing us to ignore signals from our nervous system and stomach that suggest fullness, leading us to continue eating. I

To sum up

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, improving one's

sports

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skills or watching the game without having to go live far outweighs any of the minor drawbacks that could result from watching

sports

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Submitted by s_syedy on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages, a more balanced discussion would enhance task achievement. Try dedicating equal space to discussing both sides.

task achievement

The essay lacks a bit of depth in argumentation. To score higher, consider exploring ideas in more detail and providing additional specific examples or case studies.

coherence cohesion

A few minor grammatical inaccuracies are present. Future essays could benefit from another round of proofreading to catch these errors.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitional phrases for better flow between paragraphs and ideas, ensuring each paragraph logically follows the one before.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the writer's viewpoint, setting up the essay effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates the viewpoint, providing a clear ending.

task achievement

The essay provides a variety of reasons and examples to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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