Nowadays, a lot of people enjoy watching TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

At present, a large number of
people
love watching television. In my opinion, I consider that watching
sports
on
TV
can bring about more advantages for human beings compared to any problems it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits gained by watching
sports
on
TV
are extremely useful for audiences.
Firstly
, many
people
who play a sport can improve their skills by watching
TV
sports
shows again and again.
In other words
,
people
can see the games that they are interested in more clearly and pick up some skills quickly.
Secondly
, not all
sports
fans have the chance to attend
sports
events.
For instance
, work commitments or financial constraints prevent some individuals from attending the current Olympic Games in Paris.
Hence
, the only choice is to sit in front of the
TV
and watch their favourite team or sportsman play. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when
people
sit in front of a
TV
watching
sports
events. One problem is that
such
a practice can easily become an addiction that makes
viewers
Change noun form
viewers'
viewer's
show examples
bodies stiff and rusty.
For instance
,
people
who are interested in watching football matches often sit on the couch for a few hours without being active, and if
this
keeps on going for a
while
, it will affect them physically. Another negative aspect is that
TV
viewing is a passive activity often accompanied by compulsive consumption of junk food. The show draws our attention, causing us to ignore signals from our nervous system and stomach that suggest fullness, leading us to continue eating. I
To sum up
, improving one's
sports
skills or watching the game without having to go live far outweighs any of the minor drawbacks that could result from watching
sports
on
TV
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages, a more balanced discussion would enhance task achievement. Try dedicating equal space to discussing both sides.
task achievement
The essay lacks a bit of depth in argumentation. To score higher, consider exploring ideas in more detail and providing additional specific examples or case studies.
coherence cohesion
A few minor grammatical inaccuracies are present. Future essays could benefit from another round of proofreading to catch these errors.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitional phrases for better flow between paragraphs and ideas, ensuring each paragraph logically follows the one before.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's viewpoint, setting up the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates the viewpoint, providing a clear ending.
task achievement
The essay provides a variety of reasons and examples to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!