many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal.some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Disscuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Economic
progress
is thought to be the most important goal for many domestic organs.
Whereas
, some other groups declare that other kinds of approaches have equal importance for a
country
. I totally agree with the former idea. Developing economics can directly have an impact on other
progress
. If a
country
's
economy
improves, other parts
such
as culture, social issues, and education will get enough budget to improve as well. An ideal
economy
can face all the sanctions and take the
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of developing the
country
in many
fields
. Facing crises
such
as poverty and unemployment, which can be solved by a powerful
economy
, leads to raising capital for all national sectors like national factories, sports teams, and investigations that all hand in hand prove the
country
's circumstances.
For example
, if Palestine had had a powerful
economy
, it would have made a strong military and won the war. Other aspects may play a fundamental role in the
economy
. The other breakthroughs in other parts
such
as education, culture, and social issues seem to be some countries' priorities because, these factors are consisting the majority of countries' situations, so these catch-all terms catch equal attention. Focusing on people's identity, these kinds of improvements get the chance to affect all steps of walks as soon as possible and develop the
country
.
This
argument is not convincing to me,
however
, economic development is able to play a fruitful role. In that case, economic issues need more attention than other
fields
. In conclusion, the reasons why some governments think of economic
progress
as a significant factor are because of the direct effect of the
economy
on other
progress
and the more attention is needed for improving the
economy
the more development appears.
In addition
, some others claim that other developments are as important as the
economy
since
such
fields
can impact people’s identity. Personally, I do agree with the first idea as the
economy
has a massive impact on all other
fields
.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on supporting points. Provide further detailed examples to substantiate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between ideas. Linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively can help in presenting a coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This can enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion, which clearly present and summarize the main argument.
task achievement
Addresses both sides of the argument and provides your own opinion, which is essential for a balanced essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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