This is my IELTS essay question: Some people think adults should give children freedom to make mistakes. Others think adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been a constant debate about whether
parents
Use synonyms
should let their
children
Use synonyms
make
mistakes
Use synonyms
freely or whether
parents
Use synonyms
should prevent them from doing so. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will elaborate on both views and give my own opinion on
this
Linking Words
matter. On the one hand, some people say that
parents
Use synonyms
should let their offspring make
mistakes
Use synonyms
. It is true that making
mistakes
Use synonyms
enables
children
Use synonyms
to learn and develop, since
mistakes
Use synonyms
help the
child
Use synonyms
identify and understand their weaknesses,
thus
Linking Words
putting effort into developing them. A study published in the Journal of Experimental
Child
Use synonyms
Psychology found that youngsters who made
mistakes
Use synonyms
during learning tasks and were given feedback showed better retention and understanding of the material than those who did not make
mistakes
Use synonyms
or were not given feedback.
Additionally
Linking Words
, allowing
children
Use synonyms
to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
fosters resilience and problem-solving skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
children
Use synonyms
attempt a challenging task and fail, they learn to analyze what went wrong and try different approaches, which is crucial for their cognitive and emotional development.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the acceptance and normalization of
mistakes
Use synonyms
can help kids become more confident. A study on
child
Use synonyms
development proved that
children
Use synonyms
who reflect on their
mistakes
Use synonyms
grow up to be more assertive, which is an important characteristic for their future personal and professional lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe that
children
Use synonyms
should be educated to avoid
mistakes
Use synonyms
. It is obvious that
this
Linking Words
helps youngsters prevent certain risks and challenges. Research published in the journal
Child
Use synonyms
Development shows that adolescents who receive proactive guidance from their
parents
Use synonyms
are less likely to engage in risky
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
such
Linking Words
as drug use, delinquency, and premature sexual activity.
This
Linking Words
highlights the importance of parental involvement in helping their offspring avoid these types of
mistakes
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, by preventing
mistakes
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
can provide a safer environment for their
children
Use synonyms
to grow up in.
For example
Linking Words
, by teaching
children
Use synonyms
about road safety and monitoring their online activities,
parents
Use synonyms
can protect them from potential dangers. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
both points of view have their benefits, I strongly argue that
parents
Use synonyms
should give their kids the freedom to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
, as it offers them the opportunity to learn, grow, and develop properly. By allowing
children
Use synonyms
to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
help them build essential life skills
such
Linking Words
as resilience, problem-solving, and confidence.
Although
Linking Words
preventing certain
mistakes
Use synonyms
can protect
children
Use synonyms
from immediate harm, it is through their own experiences and failures that they truly learn and mature.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear discussion of both views and a well-rounded conclusion with your own opinion. To reach a higher score, consider adding a few more transitional devices to further enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
Although your coherence and cohesion are strong, be cautious with sentence length and structure to ensure maximum clarity. Breaking up longer sentences could make the essay even more reader-friendly.
task achievement
Your essay offers a complete response to the task, thoroughly discussing both views and giving a well-supported personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is excellent, with clear topic sentences and supported main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: