Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People
have different opinion
about whether Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
promote
competing in daily life is better than Wrong verb form
promoting
encourage
co-operating, no matter in working, studying, or daily life. In my opinion, even though Wrong verb form
encouraging
people
need motivation
to do things better, I believe co-operating is better for our lives.
It is true that competition provides motivation
, and motivation
encourages people
to obtain a
higher achievement. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, school
holds examinations every semester to check the students' study Add an article
the school
level
. Most teachers set a goal for students and encourage them to compare themselves with other students who got a better score than them. Fix the agreement mistake
levels
By
Change preposition
In
this
way, some of them got improvement. Things are similar in working, people
tend to compare themselves to their co-workers. And most people
achieve a higher position than before. So, supporters hold their notion that competing is beneficial for every individual.
Even though competing provides motivation
for individuals, however
, people
feel nervous and anxious in competitive
atmosphere. Add an article
a competitive
the competitive
That is
totally different from co-operating
. There Correct your spelling
cooperating
are
scientific evidence Correct subject-verb agreement
is
shows
that our ancestors built and improved by Wrong verb form
showing
co-operating
with each other. Correct your spelling
cooperating
Additionally
, co-operating
provides a gentle and easy method for individuals to improve themselves. It promotes learning other Correct your spelling
cooperating
people
's merits and communicating the tips, techniques and experiences with each other, people
training and studying from each other. Their target is surpass
the previous themselves Fix the infinitive
to surpass
instead
of each other, which lessens the feelings of stress and anxiety.
In conclusion, even though both competing and co-operating improve people
and allow people
achieve
Fix the infinitive
to achieve
a
high success, Remove the article
apply
however
, I believe that co-operating was
more positive Verb problem
has
influences
which is better than competing.Fix the agreement mistake
influence
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task by discussing both views and offering an opinion, but it could be more deeply analytical. Try to include more detailed examples and justify your opinion with stronger evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally easy to follow with a logical structure. However, try to improve the flow between paragraphs. Using more varied linking words and phrases can help to make the ideas more connected and cohesive.
language accuracy
Some grammar and wording inaccuracies need attention. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and more precise vocabulary to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly lays out the issue and states your position, which gives a good first impression.
task achievement
You managed to discuss both points of view in a balanced manner, making your argument well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarizes your position, reinforcing the argument without introducing new information.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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