Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

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People

Use synonyms

have different

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

show examples

about whether

promote

Wrong verb form

promoting

show examples

competing in daily life is better than

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraging

show examples

co-operating, no matter in working, studying, or daily life. In my opinion, even though

people

Use synonyms

need

motivation

Use synonyms

to do things better, I believe co-operating is better for our lives. It is true that competition provides

motivation

Use synonyms

, and

motivation

Use synonyms

encourages

people

Use synonyms

to obtain

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher achievement.

For example

Linking Words

school

Add an article

the school

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holds examinations every semester to check the students' study

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

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. Most teachers set a goal for students and encourage them to compare themselves with other students who got a better score than them.

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

way, some of them got improvement. Things are similar in working,

people

Use synonyms

tend to compare themselves to their co-workers. And most

people

Use synonyms

achieve a higher position than before. So, supporters hold their notion that competing is beneficial for every individual. Even though competing provides

motivation

Use synonyms

for individuals,

however

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

feel nervous and anxious in

competitive

Add an article

a competitive

the competitive

show examples

atmosphere.

That is

Linking Words

totally different from

co-operating

Correct your spelling

cooperating

show examples

. There

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

scientific evidence

shows

Wrong verb form

showing

show examples

that our ancestors built and improved by

co-operating

Correct your spelling

cooperating

show examples

with each other.

Additionally

Linking Words

co-operating

Correct your spelling

cooperating

show examples

provides a gentle and easy method for individuals to improve themselves. It promotes learning other

people

Use synonyms

's merits and communicating the tips, techniques and experiences with each other,

people

Use synonyms

training and studying from each other. Their target is

surpass

Fix the infinitive

to surpass

show examples

the previous themselves

instead

Linking Words

of each other, which lessens the feelings of stress and anxiety. In conclusion, even though both competing and co-operating improve

people

Use synonyms

and allow

people

Use synonyms

achieve

Fix the infinitive

to achieve

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

high success,

however

Linking Words

, I believe that co-operating

was

Verb problem

has

show examples

more positive

influences

Fix the agreement mistake

influence

show examples

which is better than competing.

Submitted by duzirong on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task by discussing both views and offering an opinion, but it could be more deeply analytical. Try to include more detailed examples and justify your opinion with stronger evidence.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally easy to follow with a logical structure. However, try to improve the flow between paragraphs. Using more varied linking words and phrases can help to make the ideas more connected and cohesive.

language accuracy

Some grammar and wording inaccuracies need attention. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and more precise vocabulary to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly lays out the issue and states your position, which gives a good first impression.

task achievement

You managed to discuss both points of view in a balanced manner, making your argument well-rounded.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion neatly summarizes your position, reinforcing the argument without introducing new information.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

For celebrities and other famous people, it is always good ot be talked about ni the media (e.g. Internet, newspapers, TV). Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?