IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people believe that the internet is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while other believe it helps to reduce this gap. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #internet #gap
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Research shows that the
internet
Use synonyms
 is an important tool to combat poverty, but it is argued that it actually
deepen
Correct subject-verb agreement
deepens
show examples
 the differences between upper and lower classes.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 second argument has good reasons, I would say the
world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
show examples
 has a revolutionary impact in the fight for inequalities. The
access
Use synonyms
 to
internet
Use synonyms
 is easy for the wealthier part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, once they have enough money to buy both the hardware and software that provide
this
Linking Words
access
Use synonyms
. It allows rich people to first use
this
Linking Words
 technology, helping them to have more profits, a better life quality, and
also
Linking Words
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 education. In
this
Linking Words
 context, it looks as though only the rich can go
further
Linking Words
 and faster, but
actually
Add a comma
actually,
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 that distance and speed seem to be shortened in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the poor. Knowledge is power, and the
internet
Use synonyms
 came to allow everyone to
access
Use synonyms
 it through their computers, smartphones or tablets. In
this
Linking Words
 sense, information has become cheaper and easier than before, which granted poor communities to better understand the world, and grow in many ways. It is true,
however
Linking Words
, that rich people still obtain the benefits of the
internet
Use synonyms
 before anyone else, but many projects and institutions have been granting information through the web to break the chain of poverty and illiteracy. In conclusion, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has allowed everyone to have
access
Use synonyms
 to information, but it still
did
Verb problem
has
show examples
 not
extinguish
Wrong verb form
extinguished
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 the differences between the rich and the poor.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the number of poor people who obtain success through
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is an ascending line. I
therefore
Linking Words
 believe the
world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
show examples
 is one of
strongest
Add an article
the strongest
show examples
 and most democratic tools to reduce poverty.
Submitted by deep4u4all1 on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task. However, try incorporating more specific examples and data to support your points. Detailed examples can greatly strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure and the flow of ideas is easy to follow. To improve further, consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage effectively, and your conclusion neatly wraps up your argument, providing a strong sense of closure.
task achievement
You have thoroughly addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your points are clear and well-articulated, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital divide
  • wealth gap
  • accessibility
  • disadvantaged
  • empowerment
  • digital skills
  • online resources
  • financial disparities
  • bridging the gap
  • digital inclusion
  • economic inequality
  • equal opportunities
  • digital divide
  • information age
  • socioeconomic divide
What to do next:
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