IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that marketing helps promote products to the public. Others claim that well-trained, competent staff are the key to success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, there is debate regarding the factors influencing the popularity of products among consumers. Some hold the view that marketing works perfectly in attracting customers,
while
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 others think keeping up the quality through skilled workers is much more helpful in a
business
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. In
this
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 essay, both views and my point of view about them are taken into consideration. Nowadays, the world of
business
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 is combined with technology
such
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 as the social platform and the Internet.
As a result
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, keeping up with the latest methods of convincing people to buy products is vital.
Additionally
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, industries and companies have marketing departments to introduce the items or services they provide to prospective buyers.
For instance
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, the marketing office in the KFC fast-food restaurants asks the influencers on Instagram to eat and rate the newest dish added to the menu which results in high demand for the food.
However
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, if the quality of the product is low no one comes for it for a second time which is a total loss for the
business
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.
Last
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 but not least, the key to having continuous profit and maintaining popularity among users is achieved through skilful employees who will maintain the condition of
goods
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. Having capable staff who possess the ability
as well as
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 the knowledge needed for that particular job leads to high-quality products and services.
In addition
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, the combination of well-trained workmen with useful marketing causes financial gain for both parties involved.
For example
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, online clothing shops promote their
goods
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 on social media apps
such
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 as Telegram. If the admin answers the customer rudely or delivers damaged
goods
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 that will harm the reputation of the store.
Consequently
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, the sales of the store will drop and take lots of afford to get back the fame that was gone. In conclusion, if one wants to accomplish success in sales of anything they provide there are ways to take. promoting
goods
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 through well-managed marketing and gifted employees is the key to raising the incomes and steady the place of the company in the global
business
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.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples and further elaboration. This will help strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly by using a variety of linking words and phrases. This will help your essay flow better and improve the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that the ideas in the paragraph are consistently developed and supported.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in organizing the arguments presented.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and show a good understanding of the issue at hand.
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